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Depression has been seriously fucking me up lately, I can& #39;t really get my thoughts organized, I& #39;m always fatigued to where I wake up at hours like this, and what little that makes me happy is now making me more depressed
Guess it& #39;s around these hours I feel most comfortable posting these thoughts since I also feel like I dont create enough to justify even venting on here
I have a private account meant for posts like this, but all I ever do is scream at a wall while here there& #39;s a chance one of you will read these embarrassing rants here.
ugh, I guess what i& #39;m trying to say is, there& #39;s a hole in my chest and I feel like the more I try and fill it, the bigger it gets
Lol def gonna delete this as soon as Im tired enough to sleep again but yeah, I& #39;m basically one big sad mood and I hate it
thinking about it, All I really want is just to be someone whos fun to be around but I don& #39;t really let myself have fun anywhere anymore since I& #39;ve been nothing but miserable for 10 years.
People think being alone during this pandemic sucks, but Ive been alone since I was abused by an ex and i& #39;ve basically never recovered and 10 whole ass years I haven& #39;t had any friends since Im just scared to get close to anyone anymore
I think this thread has gone long enough, i& #39;m going to have a smoke and try to get some sleep, kinda hope no one read this but I doubt anyone has since its 4 in the morning
