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We should talk about how body dysmorphia isn't just about being trans & the idea that it's a trans exclusive experience is damaging in more was than just transmed gatekeeping. Body dysmorphia can be about height, weight, acne, anything you feel is a 'mistake' in your appearance.
It's a weird experience being trans & having body dysmorphia & the two aspects about myself being entirely separate. I don't care about my genitalia, though I don't love being clocked as 'female'. Yet entirely unrelated I feel fat & short & ugly & hate this prison of a body.
I don't think I've ever thought like, oh I hate this vagina. I don't think my body is supposed to have a vagina. I'm indifferent about my chest but Snap on/Snap off Boobs aren't a think (yet). Meanwhile I've definitely thought about hating performative femininity. +
+ gender presentation, gender perception is how I came to terms with being trans & having a trans identity. It's not always a medical procedure. It's not always 'hating the wrong parts'.
Meanwhile the dysmorphia is a whole separate entity that exists entirely disconnected from my gender/sex. It's my height, it's my weight, it's my acne. Believe it or not it can be unrealistic. It can be not having fucking horns?! It can be that I'm not just mist in the wind.
Dysmorphia is eating disorders & altered perceptions of reality. Its wondering why my blood is blood & not tar & slime. It's an actual medical condition where your body imagine is entirely warped. Sometimes it can 'fixed'. Sometimes it becomes to consuming to rationalize.
Body Dysmorphia CAN be a result of growing up as a closeted trans person. But it's not a necessity, nor a requirement. & it's not something ONLY trans people experience. & it's really fucked that I spent years of my life being lied to & told they're intrinsic when they're not.
Basically. You don't need to have body dysmorphia to be Trans. Point Blank Period. But I hope all my Psychosis Family out there also know you don't need to be trans to have Body Dysmorphia. I wish that's something someone explained to me too. Sometimes it's just it's own think.
**Thing**
