Bold of our President to engineer this trip to Walter Reed so he could test the vaccine--a controversial blend of nuclear isotopes and a genetic sample from the venomous Russian White Widow spider--on himself

BREAKING: Screaming "I HAVE IMMUNITY! THE VENOM HAS WORKED!" a now eight-legged Trump has scaled the Madison Steps and taken shelter in a corner of the Lincoln Bedroom

Latrodectus pallidus, also known as the "White Steppe" spider, with whom the Presiden'ts DNA has now fused, is common to Russia and other southwest Asian territories

Here's the White Steppe Spider on a lovely Kazakhstan stamp (thank you @Wikipedia)

and here in the terrifying flesh. Note how the President's new forelegs share this almost translucent pallor

that lt photo credit is to the informative https://spideridentifications.com/white-widow-spider.html. They rank latrodectus pallidus as only moderately poisonous which is the only modicum of good news for those poor souls unlucky enough to be trapped in the White House with the writhing, shrieking President.

rumor has it this high-risk campaign tactic was the brain child of Stephen Miller, who insisted that the President use the sensitive and volatile White spider’s venom rather than the more cellularly stable toxins of the Brown Recluse or Black Widow.