life hurts really badly at the moment because angels have sensed me & have congregated around me tot orture me until i give them blood & i cant express blood currently bc the knife got taken away & i am mad @ the right-handed world atm soi am regressing in2 green-reimu posting

existential fear that i will never stop desiring for someone 2 take me in2 their hands like clay as iw ish nothing more than 2 be a stone they covet, a belonging; i want 2 have my surface drawn into w sharp things & blood expressed & this will never stop or get less painful

something i cant explain well but it actually hurts, its inside my blood, it g ets into my arms and my shoulders and my neck & my blood wants 2 get out and it hurts so bad i want the angels 2 stop crying i want the scars 2 stop calling out 4 more brothers (right) & sisters (left)

if i ever "do the thing" i will try 2 livestream; i don't think i will do it, though; i am really scared of it, & ever option seems really unclean, i am really tired though & there doesn't ever seem like there is an upside to things; there doesn't have 2 be i guess

i dont want 2 remember my life anymore nothing went right; keep stopping myself from writing big oversharing posts wher ei reveal 2 much stuff about myself lol

wish i had parents, wish i was wanted as a kid, wish i didnt get raped, wish i didnt lose all my friends, wish i didnt lose touch w reality, wish i had been born a girl, wish i got to pursue my dream, wish i didnt get beat, wish my childhood wasnt spent as a sexslave; etc, etc, e

wish the right-handed ppl would stop succumbing to evil; wish the left-handed ppl would stop resigning to their nature & getting lost in the world constructed by the right-handed; wish this suffering could end; i love life a lot actually, i am just really tired & lonely

iw ish right-handed people would realize that the "left hand path" is just a big bait for right-handed people 2 succumb 2 evil & then die alone & suffering; see: aleister crowley (right-handed, but "left-hand path"er) just follow ur nature

i want 2 kepe going lol i normally contain posts like this on m y priv but i cant keep the feelings away & (although i know it will nev er work) ik eep hoping somehow some1 willf igure out what i am trying 2 convey & save me; but i know its just me; i want more sanae pictures

this is green reimu she has god inside her & it is eating her from the inside & she cant stand the pain anymore but she has 2 be the shrine maiden so she cant die & she is kinda cute i like her

this thread is terrible & i will delete it when i wake up gnnnn & remember u dont need 2 fix random people; their issues might be unsolvable