THREAD

Hey, @realDonaldTrump and @FLOTUS:

Let's play What the Heck is Up with Joe Biden?

He sure put the "little" in Little Haiti.

A boutique crowd.

Why wasn't the man in the gray suit arrested for endangering the crowd by refusing to stand in his circle?!

@JRubinBlogger chimes in.

With the sound off, Joe's chin flapping under his mask is really creepy.

It looks like he's going, "Hot-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha--"

(I'm listening to this as I type.)

Okay, is that an implant in Joe's palm, near the left edge?

On closer inspection, it looks like a Bowden cable.

It goes from his pal, under his bracelet(?), and into his sleeve.

Is he now a cyborg, controlled by Jill?

Aha!

THERE'S his controller. In the dark-green dress.

She's got a joystick behind her papers.

Okay, why the tiny mask?

It gives him jug ears and produces that weird jabbering illusion when you watch him talking with the sound off.

With the sound off, it looks like he's talking at three times the normal speed.

Uh-oh!

Joe's hydraulics are leaking!

They need to wrap this up ASAP before he becomes uncontrollable.

Too late!

His controller is calling in, "Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! Total hydraulic failure! Joystick not responding! He's on his own! I can't watch!"

I can't read the notes themselves, but I can make out the heading:

Memory of "dog": underMAIL-up-whoosh
a like Bull flywheel thanks had
original McConnell
Maximillian 4 Word

Obviously Joe wrote this speech.

Look at his eyes.

"I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"

"I'll crush you like I crush this speech!"

"Arrest that man! He's one of THEM!"

"Was it YOU?! WAS IT?"

Yup.

He's springing leaks all over the place.

Looks like he's losing coolant too.

"WHY WON'T YOU STAND IN THE EXACT CENTERS OF YOUR RINGS? ARE YOU ALL INSANE?"

"When I get in the White House, you'll all pay for what you did to me. I was once young and handsome. Heads will roll."

At least he's honest about it.

I hope they fixed his hydraulic and coolant leaks.

That was brutal.

END