Other trans people aren't going to necessarily share the same feelings on their transition, their life prior, and things like their socialization as you. That's okay.

I've seen big fallouts in trans spaces where, for example, one trans person may feel that the socialization they received prior to recognizing their gender or transitioning socially impacts them. Another trans person may feel that any such socialization didn't affect them at all

That's OKAY. There isn't a single true path of transness. I understand that it's scary when we have a palatable script of what transness means and then other trans people go "nah that doesn't work for me" because it feels like we're playing into transphobes' hands somehow

But the real loss here is if we erase other trans people's experiences because we're afraid. All that's going is throwing other parts of our communities to the transphobes while we crown ourselves the Good, Righteous Transes

Our rights and existence as people does not and should not depend on all of us conforming to a single, palatable script of what our gender experiences are (e.g. "born in the wrong body", or "gender socialization prior to transition has no effect").

Remembering today when another trans woman lashed out at me and told me I was self-hating because I said that I benefitted from male privilege for the first few decades of my life, since I and everyone around me all thought I was a cis man.

Her angrily correcting me that I need to say I had "MISPLACED male privilege" or "pseudo-privilege" or something similar didn't do anything to stop transphobia. All it did was try to silence another trans person whose life took a different path than hers.

I'm not saying all trans women have benefitted from male privilege and I wasn't then, but the suggestion that *I* did was forbidden because it played too closely to tervish scripts. And y'all, we can't play that game. All of our stories matter. Even the nuanced or messy ones.

There are as many ways to experience transness as there are trans people. Your experience of transness isn't universal. Don't lash out at other trans (or detransitioned) people for discussing their own experiences. Even if they're inconvenient.