Christian men,

There’s a difference between African tradition and the word of God. African tradition dictates that a man lords over his wife. The word of God says that a man SERVES and LOVES his wife like Christ loves the church.
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THREAD ON WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A GODLY HUSBAND

Many times, Christian men mix their misogynistic culture and the word of God. In fact, the church as a whole has commingled tradition of men with God’s word. Search the scriptures and learn what it really means to be a Godly husband.

You’re called to love your wife like Christ loves the church. That’s symbolic of a recklessly selfless love that serves. If many Christian men understood the work that comes with marriage, they’d not be in a hurry to marry. It’s definitely not about rulership. It’s real work.

You’re called to be a servant leader. Jesus served his disciples; He washed their feet. If you’re not ready to wash your wife’s feet, you’re not ready for marry. This means that you must be ready to be humble, ready to serve, ready to set the noble example.

If your desire to be served is greater than your desire to serve, you’re not ready to marry. Godly marriage is more than a contract, it is symbolic; it’s a ministry of expressing the love Christ showed us, this means you must actually yield to Christ first to able to do this.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus. - Phil 2:3-5

When you say you love a woman, it’s a lot. Here’s what the Bible says about love: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. This means that love is more than a feeling. It is a character. It is the basis of the fruit of the spirit.

So you can’t say you love your wife and you’re proud, because love is humble. You can’t say you love her and you disrespect her, because love is not rude. You can’t say you love her and abuse her because love is kind and protects. You’d protect her, and not be her pain!

When there’s love, all these conversations about who should do the home chores will be so needless, because love is kind! You won’t see your woman overburdened and not help. She doesn’t even have to be overburdened, your love should always seek to serve HER.

You’re called to honor your wife: 1 Peter 3:7.
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Before you yap about submission, have you loved your wife like Christ loves the church and gave his life for us? Most likely no, all you want is power. You’re not called to exercise power in marriage, you’re called to LOVE and SERVE selflessly.

By the way, submission in marriage is mutual. There’s nothing required of the woman that isn’t required of the man. We need to detoxify ourselves from African chauvinistic culture. God’s idea of marriage is that your wife will look at you and see Christ(Love)