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How to convince your girlfriend of anything
(Chicas, you can use this on your man as well)
MASSIVE THREAD
(Chicas, you can use this on your man as well)
MASSIVE THREAD
Before I begin, we must establish 2 things:
First and foremost, these principles must be used benevolently.
For those who don’t like $10 words or wish to use their ignorance as an excuse to disobey…benevolently means FOR GOOD, NOT EVIL.
First and foremost, these principles must be used benevolently.
For those who don’t like $10 words or wish to use their ignorance as an excuse to disobey…benevolently means FOR GOOD, NOT EVIL.
Second, this is a comprehensive thread.
You will not use every principle in every argument or conversation. Mix and match those that come most natural to you and the situation.
For best results, switch up the tactics to avoid “wear-out”…which we’ll talk about in a minute.
You will not use every principle in every argument or conversation. Mix and match those that come most natural to you and the situation.
For best results, switch up the tactics to avoid “wear-out”…which we’ll talk about in a minute.
There are 4 parts to convincing your girl of anything.
1 - Set the stage
2- Establish credibility
3- Deliver the message
4- Appeal to emotions
Each part has multiple principles, so I’ll be obvious when we move from one part to another.
Let’s get into it.
1 - Set the stage
2- Establish credibility
3- Deliver the message
4- Appeal to emotions
Each part has multiple principles, so I’ll be obvious when we move from one part to another.
Let’s get into it.
Part 1: Set the stage
If your girl is not in the mood to be pitched or even talked to, nothing else we talk about matters.
She must first be open to hearing what you have to say.
In marketing, we call this the “pre-frame.”
Here’s how to set the stage.
If your girl is not in the mood to be pitched or even talked to, nothing else we talk about matters.
She must first be open to hearing what you have to say.
In marketing, we call this the “pre-frame.”
Here’s how to set the stage.
Use “purr” words. (coined by the “Age of Propaganda,” which most of this thread is based on)
These are words that have positive connotations but are ambiguous in the context they are used.
For instance, you might say to her, “Let’s do something fun tonight!”
These are words that have positive connotations but are ambiguous in the context they are used.
For instance, you might say to her, “Let’s do something fun tonight!”
Now, fun to her and fun to you might be two totally different things.
But that’s the point.
We’re not trying to convince her yet.
We just want her to open the door for us.
By giving her something vague to latch onto, she almost certainly has to agree.
But that’s the point.
We’re not trying to convince her yet.
We just want her to open the door for us.
By giving her something vague to latch onto, she almost certainly has to agree.
Then use a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Kids who are labeled smart, act smarter.
In the same way, tell your girl that she’s worked hard this week and deserves a celebratory night.
Even if she was lazy all week, she’ll accept your premise because she’s human.
Kids who are labeled smart, act smarter.
In the same way, tell your girl that she’s worked hard this week and deserves a celebratory night.
Even if she was lazy all week, she’ll accept your premise because she’s human.
This sets the foundation for self-persuasion.
We’ll talk about direct self-persuasion in a little bit, but we must lay the ground work now for it to work later.
By humoring her, we’re subtly telling her how to feel.
We can later direct that emotion toward a behavior.
We’ll talk about direct self-persuasion in a little bit, but we must lay the ground work now for it to work later.
By humoring her, we’re subtly telling her how to feel.
We can later direct that emotion toward a behavior.
Use the power of loss.
It is more painful to lose $20 than it is pleasurable to gain $20.
You probably know about scarcity.
You have the option to use it now or later, depending on your situation (we’ll talk more about scarcity later)
But you’d be smart to use it.
It is more painful to lose $20 than it is pleasurable to gain $20.
You probably know about scarcity.
You have the option to use it now or later, depending on your situation (we’ll talk more about scarcity later)
But you’d be smart to use it.
Use contrast effects.
If we’re ring shopping, and I show you a run-of-the-mill ring, you probably won’t be impressed.
But if I had showed you a crappy ring first, and then showed you the average ring…the average ring would look pretty dang good.
If we’re ring shopping, and I show you a run-of-the-mill ring, you probably won’t be impressed.
But if I had showed you a crappy ring first, and then showed you the average ring…the average ring would look pretty dang good.
Judgment is relative, not absolute.
We judge things based on the other markers we have to determine that thing’s value.
So it’s simple…
Throw a low-value offer @ her, and then present your “better alternative.”
We judge things based on the other markers we have to determine that thing’s value.
So it’s simple…
Throw a low-value offer @ her, and then present your “better alternative.”
Last thing about setting the stage.
Take notes from a lawyer…
Never ask a question that doesn’t give you the answer you want.
And after you ask that question, shut up. Be quiet. Let her weave her own web.
Take notes from a lawyer…
Never ask a question that doesn’t give you the answer you want.
And after you ask that question, shut up. Be quiet. Let her weave her own web.
Part 2: Establish Credibility
You may think that your girl knows you well and therefore you can bypass re-establishing your credibility.
This is incorrect.
Credibility must be established over and over again.
We’re a skeptical species.
Here’s how to establish credibility.
You may think that your girl knows you well and therefore you can bypass re-establishing your credibility.
This is incorrect.
Credibility must be established over and over again.
We’re a skeptical species.
Here’s how to establish credibility.
Most importantly, you have to earn her trust.
Without trust, communication becomes difficult, if not impossible.
If you’ve wronged her recently, apologize sincerely.
If you do so insincerely, you might as well throw this entire thread away.
Without trust, communication becomes difficult, if not impossible.
If you’ve wronged her recently, apologize sincerely.
If you do so insincerely, you might as well throw this entire thread away.
Admitting defeat puts her in a power position.
It not only recalibrates her emotions, but also strokes her ego to make her think she is in control again.
Which is great
Because those who are convinced they are in control are the easiest to manipulate (for good, not evil).
It not only recalibrates her emotions, but also strokes her ego to make her think she is in control again.
Which is great
Because those who are convinced they are in control are the easiest to manipulate (for good, not evil).
Look good.
Appearances matter.
Beautiful people are considered more trustworthy than ugly people.
And if you look good enough, her hormones will start ramping up her emotions.
Which makes it easier for us to invoke and direct them later.
Appearances matter.
Beautiful people are considered more trustworthy than ugly people.
And if you look good enough, her hormones will start ramping up her emotions.
Which makes it easier for us to invoke and direct them later.
This one is tricky, but it’s the quickest path to the finish line
Act against your own self-interest
The easiest way to earn credibility is to act against your own-self interest
If you have to sacrifice something for the good of the other, you instantly become more trustworthy
Act against your own self-interest
The easiest way to earn credibility is to act against your own-self interest
If you have to sacrifice something for the good of the other, you instantly become more trustworthy
Here’s one way to do this with your girl.
Let’s say you want to do a particular activity tonight.
Before proposing the activity, offer her dinner at a restaurant she loves but you don’t like.
And when she says “but you don’t like it there,” keep it simple…
“But you do.”
Let’s say you want to do a particular activity tonight.
Before proposing the activity, offer her dinner at a restaurant she loves but you don’t like.
And when she says “but you don’t like it there,” keep it simple…
“But you do.”
You can do this with anything.
Propose something she knows you don’t like (that she LOVES)
And she’ll start to believe that you’re truly acting in HER best interest.
Your trustworthiness will shoot through the roof.
And your true offer will look like a compromise.
Propose something she knows you don’t like (that she LOVES)
And she’ll start to believe that you’re truly acting in HER best interest.
Your trustworthiness will shoot through the roof.
And your true offer will look like a compromise.
Part 3: Deliver the message
There are lots of different principles you can use to deliver your message.
I’m going to present you with a few of them.
Pick and choose the ones that come most naturally to you and the situation.
There are lots of different principles you can use to deliver your message.
I’m going to present you with a few of them.
Pick and choose the ones that come most naturally to you and the situation.
Message length equals message strength.
This is something humans inherently believe.
It’s why sales pages can be 300 pages.
But, instead of giving her a 20-minute presentation…
Jam-pack evidence into a 2-minute elevator pitch.
This is something humans inherently believe.
It’s why sales pages can be 300 pages.
But, instead of giving her a 20-minute presentation…
Jam-pack evidence into a 2-minute elevator pitch.
“We could go to ______ for dinner tonight. It’s close, so we wouldn’t have to spend a lot of time in the car. They just added a new Green Chile soup, which I know you love. And, they’re having a 2 for $20 deal.”
Evidence, more evidence, even more evidence.
Evidence, more evidence, even more evidence.
Social Proof.
There’s probably nothing more convincing than social proof.
It’s why we believe restaurants with lines out the door on a Tuesday night are good even if we’ve never eaten there.
You can implement social proof a number of ways with her.
There’s probably nothing more convincing than social proof.
It’s why we believe restaurants with lines out the door on a Tuesday night are good even if we’ve never eaten there.
You can implement social proof a number of ways with her.
You can tell her something is getting a lot of hype — a restaurant, an activity, a product…
FOMO is real.
But even MORE effective is getting one of her friends to sign off on what you’re doing.
If her SO and her BF are on the same page, the pressure will build.
FOMO is real.
But even MORE effective is getting one of her friends to sign off on what you’re doing.
If her SO and her BF are on the same page, the pressure will build.
Ask her to imagine adopting a course of action.
Remember when we talked about self-persuasion earlier?
That was indirect. This is direct.
Literally tell her to imagine doing something.
Remember when we talked about self-persuasion earlier?
That was indirect. This is direct.
Literally tell her to imagine doing something.
Let’s say you want to spend a night with the boys.
Instead of saying, “Hey, I’m gonna ditch you for the night.”
Say…
“Baby, imagine what you could do with your freedom. You could take a bath, paint your nails, and just relax. You’ve been pushing so hard lately.”
Cha-ching!
Instead of saying, “Hey, I’m gonna ditch you for the night.”
Say…
“Baby, imagine what you could do with your freedom. You could take a bath, paint your nails, and just relax. You’ve been pushing so hard lately.”
Cha-ching!
Now, what if the thing you’re asking for is a big-ticket item.
You’ll want to begin telling her about it well in advance, and tell her often.
The more she hears it, the more she’ll accept it.
Like songs on the radio…
You hate the first time, but like it the 50th time.
You’ll want to begin telling her about it well in advance, and tell her often.
The more she hears it, the more she’ll accept it.
Like songs on the radio…
You hate the first time, but like it the 50th time.
But here’s the key…
We need to use “repetition-with-variation” to avoid “wear-out.”
Wear out occurs when someone hears an ad too many times.
They become numb to it.
So, you must slightly change the argument each time.
We need to use “repetition-with-variation” to avoid “wear-out.”
Wear out occurs when someone hears an ad too many times.
They become numb to it.
So, you must slightly change the argument each time.
Each time you tell her, change up your “why” slightly.
Remember message length equals message strength?
Repetition-with-variation partners well with this idea.
The more reasons you give her, and the more she hears the idea, the more likely she is to accept it.
Remember message length equals message strength?
Repetition-with-variation partners well with this idea.
The more reasons you give her, and the more she hears the idea, the more likely she is to accept it.
Part 4: Appeal to emotions
Okay, so we’ve set the stage (she’s ready to listen).
We’ve established credibility, so she’ll believe us.
We’re delivering our message, and it’s rational.
And now, we drive it home.
Okay, so we’ve set the stage (she’s ready to listen).
We’ve established credibility, so she’ll believe us.
We’re delivering our message, and it’s rational.
And now, we drive it home.
We are not as rational as we like to believe.
Most of our purchases are emotional, not rational.
When it comes to your girl, her acceptance of your idea is no different.
It’s mainly emotional.
So we want to invoke an emotion, and direct that emotion toward a behavior.
Most of our purchases are emotional, not rational.
When it comes to your girl, her acceptance of your idea is no different.
It’s mainly emotional.
So we want to invoke an emotion, and direct that emotion toward a behavior.
You can use any emotion you’d like, but fear is the strongest.
Now fear can come in many shapes and sizes.
Here’s the important thing to note about inducing fear:
If you induce it without providing a clear, plausible solution — you’ve lost.
Now fear can come in many shapes and sizes.
Here’s the important thing to note about inducing fear:
If you induce it without providing a clear, plausible solution — you’ve lost.
Your girl will bury her head in the sand, not listen to a damn thing you say, and you’ll be left to stroking her hair while watching a chick flick.
Once you induce fear (or more nicely, FOMO), you have to provide an actionable solution…one she can implement immediately.
Once you induce fear (or more nicely, FOMO), you have to provide an actionable solution…one she can implement immediately.
Another way to invoke emotion is the norm-of-reciprocity.
This principle basically says that if I do something for you, you feel compelled and obligated to do something for me.
I won’t harp on this much.
Do something for her. She’ll be more inclined to do something for you.
This principle basically says that if I do something for you, you feel compelled and obligated to do something for me.
I won’t harp on this much.
Do something for her. She’ll be more inclined to do something for you.
Or, you can use the door-in-the-face technique.
This is where you throw out an idea so big and absurd that she’ll certainly say no to it.
But when you present your actual idea immediately after, it doesn’t seem so crazy.
This is similar to the contrast effect.
This is where you throw out an idea so big and absurd that she’ll certainly say no to it.
But when you present your actual idea immediately after, it doesn’t seem so crazy.
This is similar to the contrast effect.
For instance, you could say…
“Sweetheart, I want to take Dylan to the Super Bowl this year…I want to get some front row seats, and we’ll make a weekend out of it.”
She says no.
“Sweetheart, I want to take Dylan to the Super Bowl this year…I want to get some front row seats, and we’ll make a weekend out of it.”
She says no.
No problem. Now, you hit her with your real offer.
“Okay, well then maybe I can take Dylan to the Patriots game next weekend or something for a boys’ day.”
Her: “Yeah, that seems more reasonable.”
You just got yourself a boys’s day @ an NFL game. (just an example)
“Okay, well then maybe I can take Dylan to the Patriots game next weekend or something for a boys’ day.”
Her: “Yeah, that seems more reasonable.”
You just got yourself a boys’s day @ an NFL game. (just an example)
Of course, you can always use scarcity.
“There’s only 4 left, honey. If we don’t act now, we could lose this opportunity forever.”
She has to make a choice, and she doesn’t have time.
And people make irrational decisions under time pressure.
“There’s only 4 left, honey. If we don’t act now, we could lose this opportunity forever.”
She has to make a choice, and she doesn’t have time.
And people make irrational decisions under time pressure.
Lastly, make her be consistent with her values and beliefs.
If she tells you that painting her nails is important because it increases her confidence…
Then you can ask for basically anything that increases YOUR confidence.
She’ll feel compelled to be consistent in thought.
If she tells you that painting her nails is important because it increases her confidence…
Then you can ask for basically anything that increases YOUR confidence.
She’ll feel compelled to be consistent in thought.
The last thing anyone wants to be is a hypocrite.
They’ll make totally crazy decisions simply to be consistent with their past thoughts and beliefs.
This means that anything she applies to herself…you can apply to YOURSELF.
Just frame it how you need to.
They’ll make totally crazy decisions simply to be consistent with their past thoughts and beliefs.
This means that anything she applies to herself…you can apply to YOURSELF.
Just frame it how you need to.
Okay, by now…you can convince your girl of anything.
But here’s why this thread was SO LONG…
I didn’t just show you how to convince your girl of anything.
I showed you how to hack the system.
I showed you how to SELL anything.
But here’s why this thread was SO LONG…
I didn’t just show you how to convince your girl of anything.
I showed you how to hack the system.
I showed you how to SELL anything.
You just learned how to make money online, get the best table at a restaurant, convince your girl of anything, and get an absolute STEAL on a car.
(plus a million other things)
So…if you’ve made it this far…
(plus a million other things)
So…if you’ve made it this far…
You're a boss, and you're destined for greatness.
But also, I'd really appreciate a retweet.
(see the "norm-of-reciprocity" being used there) ^
Here's the original tweet https://twitter.com/thesimplestud/status/1313152943147741191?s=20
But also, I'd really appreciate a retweet.
(see the "norm-of-reciprocity" being used there) ^
Here's the original tweet https://twitter.com/thesimplestud/status/1313152943147741191?s=20
