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It& #39;s become a deeply disturbing, unsettling, misogynistic trend in India to label a woman is not submissive to men, holds her own opinions despite men thrusting theirs, does what she chooses and not what men propose, is outspoken about her likes, dislikes, more intelligent...1/n
than men and powerful in getting things done by herself, refusing to abide by the societal norm of how a woman should be, argues, debates, disagrees and disapproves, raises her voice, shouts, fights righteously to express her views to be called
"mentally ill", "schizophrenic", "bipolar", "mental". No I& #39;m not talking about what happened with Kangana. But I& #39;m doing a researched piece on divorces in India and every third man I speak to says his wife was mentally I& #39;ll. When I probe further and ask them to explain, I
Find it& #39;s not based on a clinical diagnosis but their own, butthurt perception of a woman they were unable to control, unable to understand emotionally and one their ego would not permit to listen or abide by. Talk to these men and it& #39;s clear they have the emotional and mental
Maturity of a 18 yr old when they are all well into theirs 30s. They are all a mix of mamma& #39;s boys, teens looking to fulfill his Bollywood fantasies of the ideal wives, male dominating egos that cannot bring oneself to apologize or admit they did any wrong to fragile egos that
Cannot take a different perspective. Most of them who had arranged marriages have taken the side of their mum over their wives which is bloody pathetic considering the wife left her home to be with you.
Most of these wives later on moved to their parents houses and never came back because of that.
Most of these men refused to plan a weekend or an evening with their wives and expected her to be grateful on the one occasion they did.
Most of these men refused to plan a weekend or an evening with their wives and expected her to be grateful on the one occasion they did.
These men did not believe in sharing chores. They were calculating from the beginning of how much the wife should do and how much he would do instead of thinking of it as joint effort.
Some of these men had unconsummated marriages after living together for close to a year which begs the question was the wife ever at fault at all? Or was there a orientation/sexual issue which came to the shock of that woman?
Their constant complaints being :
1. She used to shout and fight
2. Suddenly become upset and misbehave
(Hello....that how women all over the world express. Dont expect Sitas and Draupadis. This is real life not mythology.)
1. She used to shout and fight
2. Suddenly become upset and misbehave
(Hello....that how women all over the world express. Dont expect Sitas and Draupadis. This is real life not mythology.)
3. Call me names, used foul language
4. Verbally /physically abusive
( agreed, this is nt a healthy way of expressing but what did you say or retort or do that she had to react that way? I have seen this in my own house with my folks.If there is an effect there was a cause.
4. Verbally /physically abusive
( agreed, this is nt a healthy way of expressing but what did you say or retort or do that she had to react that way? I have seen this in my own house with my folks.If there is an effect there was a cause.
Most of the time men say how the women behaved but do not mention what they did or said before all ahit broke lose. )
5. For small things there used to be big fights
6. I wouldn& #39;t know when she would react how.
5. For small things there used to be big fights
6. I wouldn& #39;t know when she would react how.
(Small things as per who& #39;s POV? Did you even bother to have a dialogue with her or do the manly thing of brushing it under the carpet and never addressing her woes?
Did you bother to understand why it hurt her or why she feels the way she does or it& #39;s too much trouble for you
Did you bother to understand why it hurt her or why she feels the way she does or it& #39;s too much trouble for you
And easier for your ego to see her as erratic and makes no sense because that way the onus of not understanding her dowsnt fall on you?)
7. Doesnt respect my parents
8. Wanted to move out of their house and live independently.
(No woman will respect inlaws that interfere in her life or has raised a mamma& #39;s boy. It& #39;s not possible for us because the entire burden of teaching you how to be an adult falls on us when
8. Wanted to move out of their house and live independently.
(No woman will respect inlaws that interfere in her life or has raised a mamma& #39;s boy. It& #39;s not possible for us because the entire burden of teaching you how to be an adult falls on us when
Infact your parents should have raised you to be an adult not a manchild. She will even more resent inlaws who dont let him become an adult even now thru her efforts and continue to baby him and give him the notion that his wife would also serve him that way.Nope. No. Nada. Non.
Repeat after me: I will not expect my wife to be like my mother.
That is if you want your marriage to work at all.
As for living independently, if you still want to attached at the hip with your folks maybe you shouldnt have gotten married in the first place. If a woman can
That is if you want your marriage to work at all.
As for living independently, if you still want to attached at the hip with your folks maybe you shouldnt have gotten married in the first place. If a woman can
Leave her parents after marriage so can you who believes you are the better sex. If her parents can plan financially all their lives such that they will never expect anything from her, so can yours.
If your parents are ill or bedridden, it& #39;s a different issue. But old is not.
If your parents are ill or bedridden, it& #39;s a different issue. But old is not.
You can always move out and still look after your old parents just like your wife has. But if keeping making excuses to stay with your folks, you need to get a deep look at how you need them more than they need you. Dont expect your educated, working wife to be content being
Confined to one room in your house and forever serving your parents and putting your interests over hers. That& #39;s not a wife. That& #39;s a maid.)
If none of this has even occurred to you in your 30s, you have no right to call your wife or ex wife mentally ill or even anything resembling that because it is YOU who has failed to open your eyes and evolve. In another civilization, Indian men as a race would have become
Extinct for failing to evolve with the times and needs.
Its about now I regret forgetting the password to my blog and having to do this thread.
Toodles.
Its about now I regret forgetting the password to my blog and having to do this thread.
Toodles.
