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it’s almost 5am and i can’t sleep. my head hurts, my anxiety is through the roof and i feel like i can’t breathe. i’m so stressed out about school because i can’t get my shit together and turn things in on time like a normal person. i’m tired (cont.)
i don’t wanna do this anymore i can NOT survive another year and a half of this. i’m not cut out for school, and i definitely won’t be cut out for working a normal job. i wish i had some sort of marketable skill that i could use to freelance on my own terms (cont.)
and my own schedule, but i really don’t. my art isn’t even close to where i’d be comfortable taking commissions, i would love to do writing commissions but i have nothing to show as samples, and my photography is just run of the mill stuff (cont.)
the only thing i could think of that could be “valuable” and could let me support myself without putting myself through all of this is working with computers. not super advanced comp sci shit but like. basic IT work. but how the fuck do i get hired for that shit (cont.)
anywhere without a degree? or how do i go about doing it as a freelance type thing? i don’t know anything anymore, i’m just tired and i know i can’t keep going like this. i got into social work because i’m passionate about making the world a better, more just place (cont.)
but how the hell am i supposed to do that if i can’t even take care of myself? i always say “this semester is gonna be better”, but it never is. i’m lying here on the verge of another massive breakdown and i can’t take it anymore. why can’t i (cont.)
just quit everything and live my life doing what makes me happy? they say if you go into something you’re passionate about you’ll be happy. but i’m not. i’m a disaster and i’m going to break. idk what the point of this thread is, i’m just very tired and (cont.)
i need to get this all out. feel free to keep scrolling, i really just need to put this out there to get it all off my chest. don’t worry about me, i’m going to be just fine, just like every other time i’ve felt like this. but i don’t wanna be “fine” i wanna be happy. (cont.)
if you made it this far thank you for reading. i know this all sounds dramatic, like yikes i’m making ANOTHER long thread about my rapidly declining mental state, but i swear i’m not looking for attention or anything. sometimes ya just need to scream into the void (cont)
to make your mind stop running at a thousand miles a minute. anyways, thank you all for being here on this hell app with me, i truly appreciate all of my oomfs. especially thank you if you took the time to read all of this. ily all, and i think i can sleep now. (end of thread)
