Wanja was honest. Many of us are not honest about how our traumas affect our parenting. We refuse to delve into them, and do the ugly painful work of healing. So we keep injuring our babies. Who grow up to be angry individuals.

The myth of mother means that to this day it's so hard for folks to admit their mothers were the ones who hurt them. Do you know how quickly folks fix their mouths to say shush/forgive them, without ever acknowledging the damage that was done to you and the consequences?

As a result so many of us don't even KNOW that our folks did us wrong. A good sign us being an angry child and acting out even though on paper things seemed ok. Start delving into the why of that. We underestimate how many memories and experiences we blocked as children.

Children block events in memory especially if they don't have capacity to process them or have no adult safe enough to help them process these things. Do the work otherwise you go on the other extreme and leave your kids with a different set of wounds.

And it's hard ugly, painful work. Some of us are too afraid of acknowledging that our parents aren't the heroes we painted them out to be. They aren't, they are human beings with their own trauma who did the best or worst they could. Admitting that sets you free to examine things

Admitting begins the healing. I dare say a lot of you men who have this rabid violent anger towards women need to examine it and see where it comes from. The true source of it and deal.

Anyway it's not an easy journey but it's healing and fulfilling and you lay down burdens that were never yours to carry. Start the work...

Also finally motherhood is incredibly hard and doing it better means admitting the ugly hard parts of it. She has started her journey.

Many others were triggered by that because of it mirroring their own pain. You don't have to be forgiving to her if you don't have it in you. In fact she doesn't need your forgiveness but you need to start healing the wounds that were triggered by her story.

Finally truth is for all of us if our folks had admitted their truth early on and worked to do better it would have made a world of difference but they often didn't so here we are ....