My last one tonight.

I'm sure that THIS will make even @realDonaldTrump and @FLOTUS raise their eyebrows.

I just got off the phone with a guy who tells me that Spanish press outlets are reporting that Trump is in critical condition.

First Couple, this is the damndest things I've ever seen in my life.


Venezuelan tall tales can't be matched by ANYONE.

But we're seeing the total implosion of an entire ideology.

Has anyone ever read Franz Kafka?
Kafkaesque = having a nightmarishly complex, bizarre, or illogical quality.

Characteristic or reminiscent of the oppressive or nightmarish qualities of Franz Kafka's fictional world.
You know what?


This real-world madness beats out ALL fiction that came before it.

George Orwell
Aldus Huxley
Joseph Conrad
Joseph Heller
Ray Bradbury
Anthony Burgess
William Golding
J.G. Ballard
Sinclair Lewis
One of my favorite movies USED TO BE Three Days of the Condor.
The last time I saw it, I HATED Robert Redford.

Self-righteous MORON who joined the CIA and then demanded that they change the rules FOR HIM.

Here's the stupidest thing he says in the whole movie:
"I hate the fact the I have to lie to people about what I do."

"Why are you having such a hard time accepting this?" his exasperate boss says.

"Because I trust people," Redford says.

Then he raises his defiant little chin like an angry child.
The plot of the movie revolves around a ROGUE ELEMENT within the CIA.

So Redford goes to the New York Times because THEY are the virtuous warriors of holy virtue.

I kept rooting for the Mailman.
I met him.

He's a great guy. Former bodybuilder and stuntman.

He loves it when people recognize him.

Great sense of humor.

Unlike Redford.
In past fiction, even the most horrifying scenarios of governments gone bad or societies gone crazy had a
LOGIC to them.

There's no LOGIC to this mass insanity.

I understand that the elites all have their asses in a sling, since the Department of Justice is closing in on them.
But for your average American voter to be INSANE WITH HATE over mass improvement is beyond all comprehension.

Don't get me wrong:


All I care about is defeating and humiliating them.

But the madness should be noted.
Four of my siblings are now totally insane.

They're all parents, and all their kids are already ruined.

Just as crazy and belligerent as their parents.

When my parents were dying, the kids kept pestering me about how much THEY were going to inherit.

They pissed off my parents with that, so my parents disowned them.

Without telling them.

I'm the one who informed my parents, knowing full well what the result would be.


My DEEPLY flawed parents were human beings, not ATM machines.
My brother and I put our entire lives on hold to save them.

We joked that with their genes, they'd survive metastatic Stage IV cancer and live to be 120.

My brother and I would be in our 90s.

He'd be blind, and I'd be bent in half from osteoarthritis.
"We're rich!"


"Hello? Oo, muh ticker!"


"Carlos and Miguel Osweda were found by city sanitation workers eight months after their deaths. The brothers left instructions that their estates be set on fire and shoved up the rectums of their nieces and nephews."
Trump and Melania are a return to DECENCY.

It didn't matter that I didn't get along with my parents.

If my brother and I hadn't cared for them, nobody would've.

It wasn't hard, because I'm a DECENT person.

Their illnesses and deaths were about THEM, not us.
I can't think of a single time my siblings and their kids did anything for anybody else.

Not once.

But GOD ALMIGHTY, did they go after me FOREVER about politics.

To this day, I haven't unloaded on any of them.

I don't know why not.
I think it's because they're so insane that engaging them is a total waste of time.

Look what a SHAMBLES Chris Wallace is.

Lying shamelessly about how the mean ol' Trump broke his heart, when all Trump did was play Wallace's game BETTER THAN WALLACE.
I'll never get over the absolutely horrific spectacle of Joe Biden laughing at Paul Ryan.

It was one of the most toxic, arrogant, nightmarish performances I've ever seen.

For a VERY short time.

Trump pounded him.

And pounded him.

And POUNDED him until he was all sad.


My brother and I howled with laughter.

Biden had it coming. He deserved every second of it.
President Trump and Melania, I've lost count of the number of people who've told me that Trump inspired them to stand up for themselves.

They now don't allow themselves to be insulted or abused.

They say, "Trump made it look so easy!"

And they discovered that it IS easy.
Biden was out of his league.

He met a man who views him with the contempt Biden deserves.

And yet Trump waited until Biden pulled his Paul Ryan trick THREE TIMES, and then Wallace jumped in to help.

And then Trump went for the throats.

You know what was hilarious, POTUS and FLOTUS?

How TRAUMATIZED so many people were.

Miserable pissants and pudknockers who said the world was ending because Trump fought BETTER than his two opponents.

Riots and endless shootings don't matter.

The house is on fire, kids. Screw your fake decorum.

Besides, YOU'RE CRAZY.

The US Secret Service DROVE Trump to Walter Reed in the first place. IN THE SAME CARS!

But NOW he's "endangering" them?
In the movie The Andromeda Strain, an Air Force helicopter pilot volunteers to fly two scientists to the infected town.

Dr. Stone tells the pilot, "If anything happens to us, you know what to do."

"Yessir," says the pilot. "Back to base and--"

He mimes cutting his own throat.
Dr. Stone explains to Dr. Hall.

"If we die, he'll go back to base so he and the helicopter and be sterilized."

"Sterilized?" laughs the pilot. "That's not what they told me. Only INCINERATED."

"There's a jet fighter following us to make sure he goes back." Stone says.
"What if he doesn't go back?" Hall asks.

"He gets shot down."

But he volunteered anyway.

Trump didn't go out for a "photo op."

The leftist media can blame itself.

Trump had to show everyone THAT HE'S FINE.

And now we have ANOTHER reason to bring about an electoral extinction-level event.
They hit Trump and Melania, we vote them into extinction.

Trump wins on election night.

He wins because we love him and will share the risks with him.

That's what DECENT families do.

You can follow @COsweda.
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