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SO a few years ago I went to LA with my brother & some of my friends. I tweeted out asking what some fun things to do in LA are & one of my mutuals messaged me insisting on meeting up. https://twitter.com/nohaizri/status/1312901440386465792">https://twitter.com/nohaizri/...
I continuously dodged him but this mutual had been trying to shoot his shot for a few years at this point so he found my brother on socials & tried befriending him. he decided it would be a good idea to coordinate plans through my brother.
the friends we went to LA to thought the concept of meeting a mutual was cool so they were down to meet up as well. we chose a day & the mutual chose a place. when the day came to meet up for dinner, we asked where he wanted to go. he gave us the name but not the location.
I told my brother to tell the mutual to give us the address but he consistently just kept sending the name & telling us to go to the one in Santa Monica. at this point I didn’t even want to meet up but we move.
after being stuck in LA traffic for ages, we finally get to the restaurant & we message him letting him know. he kept telling us to walk through a restaurant we’ve never been in in a city we’ve never been to instead of coming up to the front. I was hella annoyed.
finally, after just over 20 minutes, he kindly decides to “walk to the front” & realizes we aren’t there. guess what? WE WERE AT THE WRONG LOCATION. THERE WERE ONLY 2 LOCATIONS. so he tells us to once again GOOGLE THE ADDRESS TO GO TO HIM.
I was not having it & told the gang to tell him to come to our location as we were 4 people & he was just 1 person. he refused. I wanted to flop at this point but everyone decided to just meet him at the restaurant he was currently waiting at.
we finally get to the other location & once we walked in, the waitresses go “oh my goodness!! you must be the friends this poor guy has been waiting ages for!!” ................ sorry WHAT? I was pissed at this point.
he got up immediately after hearing that & introduced himself to us. my brother put out his hand to shake his & THE MANS PULLS HIM IN FOR A HUG BRO. so naturally, I take a step back & just wave & introduce myself but mans came closer & HUGS ME TOO???????????
then he greets my 2 friends with A FUCKIN HAND SHAKE?
A
HAND
SHAKE.
after hugging my brother & UNPROVOKED. I was baffled.
A
HAND
SHAKE.
after hugging my brother & UNPROVOKED. I was baffled.
he then sits on one side of the booth & I instantly sit on the other side. my brother immediately follows & sits next to me. my friends stayed standing & were kind of being awkward. I knew it was because they didn’t want to sit next to him. so I get up & sigh as I sat next to him
my friend sits next to me, my brother sits across the mutual, my other friend sits next to my brother.
we open the menus & start reading without really socializing as we were HANGRY at this point. yenno, since we spent almost 2 hours trying to get to the right location.
we open the menus & start reading without really socializing as we were HANGRY at this point. yenno, since we spent almost 2 hours trying to get to the right location.
this man won’t let us read. he keeps talking about himself & how much he LOVES this restaurant. we just wanted to read the damn menus man. THEN, he decides to start raving over this bread the restaurant serves & how we MUST try it. we kindly declined but he did not accept this.
finally, my friend asked him how large they were & we agreed that we’d order 2 servings to be able to feed the 5 of us.
when the 2 orders of bread come, the man ate one to himself & a quarter of the second one. I was so confused???
when the 2 orders of bread come, the man ate one to himself & a quarter of the second one. I was so confused???
we then order our main course & start conversing. by conversing, I mean this man is the only one speaking & he only wanted to talk about himself. he took it upon himself to tell us how much money he has, how he has 0 debt & never took out student loans. never paid interest, etc.
finally, after what seemed like years of waiting, our meals come to the table. before any of us could try our food, he had already taken a bit out of us burger. he was livid. he request that the mean was cooked to medium rare & it was well done. the mans was trippin bro.
he was so fuckin rude to the waitress about it. we all kind looked at each other on the table like.....
so we let him continue to speak while we all start to eat. at this point we didn’t care to be respectful & wait for his meal. as siblings, you naturally cut pieces of your meal & put it on each other’s plate so the other can try it without actually talking about it.
we then asked each other if anyone wanted to try anyone’s meals & then we started eating. while we were eating, the mans was raving about how the dish myself & my friend ordered was his favourite.
while I was in the middle of eating & not responding to anything the man was saying, he unravelled his utensils out of his napkin, grabbed a fork & knife, reached half his body over me & my plate, & STARTED CUTTING A PIECE OF MY FUCKING CHICKEN OFF MY FUCKING PLATE BRO.
my jaw dropped. I looked up at my brother just to see that his jaw dropped to. I actually froze. I was in shock. I almost fainted. I couldn’t believe my eyes. this wasn’t real life.
just to clarify, I never asked HIM if he wanted any of my food & he didn’t ask ME if he could cut himself a piece of my damn chicken. 
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so then his burger finally comes prepared the way he wanted it & he proceeds to take a massive bite in it again. he then, while still holding it, puts it in my face & tells me to take a bite. I said
he then goes “oh, I guess you don’t want to take a bite where I took one” & turns the burger around JUST TO SHOVE IT IN MY FACE AGAIN. I said “no thank you” & put my head down to continue to eat.
he then goes back to talking about himself & all of his accomplishments. (mostly about his money & lack of debt)
nobody cares. literally not one of us cared. so my brother is zoning out & sees that there’s a car parked on the ceiling at a dealership across the street.
nobody cares. literally not one of us cared. so my brother is zoning out & sees that there’s a car parked on the ceiling at a dealership across the street.
mind you, I wasn’t even responding to anything anyone was saying until then. I asked where the car was! I couldn’t spot it! I also wasn’t wearing my glasses but still!!!! I wanted to see the car!!!!! anything to avoid listening to him talking about himself some more!!! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
this man thought that this was the perfect time to make a move bro. he decided he was gonna put his arm around my waist, pull me closer to him, grab my face at like my cheek/chin region to apparently help me spot the car. I said absolutely the FUCK not. NOT TODAY.
I moved his hand from my face & his arm from my waist & moved away stating that I no longer wanted to spot the car but HE PUT THEM BACK & INSISTED HE WAS GOING TO SHOW ME IT. I SAID NO SIR.
we noticed that we hadn’t been checked up on in a while & started to get agitated. we wanted to leave, but there were no waitresses in sight.
he thought our frustrations were invalid & started making comments about how we’re being rude & not to embarrass him at his fav place.
he thought our frustrations were invalid & started making comments about how we’re being rude & not to embarrass him at his fav place.
I couldn’t believe he thought WE were being rude for not appreciating nobody checking up on us for over 45 minutes right after he was rude to the waitress over his burger being well done? I couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing.
finally, we found someone to help us out & she informed us that our waitress was off & she never passed our table off to someone else nor did she come to close our tab. we later discussed how we weren’t going to tip & he was FUMING at the idea. idk why lmao
while the waitress was still at the table, we asked for the bill & she proceeded to ask if we wanted dessert first. ALL of us said no but the man insisted that we ordered dessert. the waitress ended up walking away & we were so upset. we just wanted to leave. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😔" title="Nachdenkliches Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Nachdenkliches Gesicht">
the man demanded that we ordered this stupid cheesecake as we HAD to try it. everyone said they didn’t want cheesecake but he refused to take no for an answer. I told him in the most monotone way that I literally did NOT like cheesecake. (I do now don’t fight me)
after 10 minutes of him arguing with us, we agree to just order the damn cheesecake. when it came, we were shocked at how big it was. we all each took 1 bite while he proceeded to finish the entire cheesecake by himself. finally, it’s time to pay then leave.
I asked the waitress for the bill & asked her to split it. she was so confused. this was my first time in the states. I quickly learned that splitting cheques or even individual items in the states is a a foreign concept to them.
I ask for a pen to number each item for her to easily split but we had to figure out who was going to pay for what. once she brought the bill, the man LITERALLY TURNED HIS FACE AWAY FROM US TO FACE THE WINDOW TRYING TO AVOID THE BILL BRO. I COULDN’T FUCKIN BELIEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I ask who wanted to pay for the bread expecting the man to offer since he ate more than half of the entire fucking thing but nope. he continues to lovingly gaze outside the fucking window. my brother & friend graciously offer to pay for one order of bread each.
I then ask who wanted to pay for the cheesecake. we all sat in silence while he continued to gaze out the ducking window. I was LIVID at this point. so I go “no offence but literally nobody wanted the cheesecake & you ate the whole thing so you can pay for it.” & walked away.
I gave the bill to the waitress for her to split & go back to the table. I was actually so cheesed dawg. the total was literally $121 USD. had it only been us 4, I literally would have paid for the entire thing. but it wasn’t. HE was there too.
I don’t know what the hospitality is like in the states but if someone was in MY city, I personally would have covered their bill but that’s neither here no there. we move styll.
we finally all pay & get up to leave. we go outside & start walking towards our rental & start to say our goodbyes but he didn’t want the night to end there!!!! oh no. he had other plans for us that night.
he asked us if we had been to the santa monica pier yet. we said no & he asked if we wanted to go & told us he knows where the free parking areas nearby are. the gang agreed assuming that once he showed us, he’d go home since he talked about having work the next morning earlier.
once again, we were not correct. once we agreed, he literally goes:
“ could I catch a ride with you guys?
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👉🏽" title="Rückhand Zeigefinger nach rechts (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Rückhand Zeigefinger nach rechts (mittlerer Hautton)">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👈🏽" title="Rückhand Zeigefinger nach links (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Rückhand Zeigefinger nach links (mittlerer Hautton)">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face"> “
“ could I catch a ride with you guys?
I genuinely no longer had patience for this nonsense so I asked “how long do you plan on staying there for?”
he goes “only 15 mins, I have work in the morning.”
I said, “no offence, but we plan on staying longer so you should probably take your own car.”
he goes “only 15 mins, I have work in the morning.”
I said, “no offence, but we plan on staying longer so you should probably take your own car.”
he then goes:
“ can someone ride with me then?
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👉🏽" title="Rückhand Zeigefinger nach rechts (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Rückhand Zeigefinger nach rechts (mittlerer Hautton)">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👈🏽" title="Rückhand Zeigefinger nach links (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Rückhand Zeigefinger nach links (mittlerer Hautton)">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face"> “
“ can someone ride with me then?
I L I T E R A L L Y opened the passengers seat door of our rental, sat in the car, & slammed the door shut. I couldn’t believe what was happening. a few moments later, my friends hop into the car but without my brother. my heart deadass sunk into my big toe.
my friend says the plan is that we’re going to follow the man & my brother to the free lot & then go to the pier. my anxiety was on 100. my brother & I immediately shared our locations with each other & are texting nonstop.
we then pull out of the parking lane thing on the street at the same time, the man in front of us, & he proceeds to RUN A FUCKIN RED LIGHT BRO. WITH MY BROTHER IN THE FUCKING CAR. I WAS HYPERVENTILATING. MY BROTHER CALLED ME IMMEDIATELY. I WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO CRY.
every time we caught up to him, he would do some fast & the furious shit or run another light & we’d lose him. we decided that we were going to just park at the closest lot to the pier & pay so we could just meet up & get my brother back.
I’m texting my brother the entire time okay, we were lowkey freaking out but he finally told me they made it to the pier. we rushed to them & I literally hugged my brother & apologized 26382628 times for allowing this to happen.
quick side note I forgot to mention:
the other reason why we were freaking out was because my brother couldn’t open the passenger door from the inside. the door was ducking broken bro. only the dude could open his door from the outside.
THIS IS WHY WE WERE PANICKING.
the other reason why we were freaking out was because my brother couldn’t open the passenger door from the inside. the door was ducking broken bro. only the dude could open his door from the outside.
THIS IS WHY WE WERE PANICKING.
once at the pier, my brother told our friends that he already took one for the team & was tired. my brother, my friend & I decide to go down to the beach while the man & my other friend stayed on the pier since they didn’t want sand in their shoes.
we started playing frisbee on the beach for a few minutes until the other two decided to join us. they stayed on the wooden plank thing that led to the pier so that they didn’t get sand in their shoes but my brother wasn’t having it.
I threw the frisbee at my brother just for him to stare blankly back at me & immediately start sprinting towards the ocean LOL. I started sprinting after him & our friend shortly followed. we got to the water & I was frantically asking my brother why he ran like a maniac.
he said he was just tired of the man being there & I said same man. same. our friend joined & we told him why my brother ran & he too was ok the same page. we were TIRED
a few minutes later, the man & my other friend end up walking towards the ocean to meet up with us as well. the man finally decided he was going to leave. I was on cloud fuckin 9 bro.
he started saying his goodbyes, telling us how wonderful it was to meet us & expressed to us how much fun he had tonight! he also started asking to join our plans throughout the next few days we were going to be in town. we told him we had no idea what we planned on doing.
he then started giving us suggestions so we just told him we’d let him know. (we never did lmao)
he then tried getting closer to lean in for another hug while saying bye to my brother & I so I hid behind my brother, him & I waved & yelled bye & then RAN INTO THE OCEAN.
he then tried getting closer to lean in for another hug while saying bye to my brother & I so I hid behind my brother, him & I waved & yelled bye & then RAN INTO THE OCEAN.
WE STAYED IN THE OCEAN FULLY CLOTHES UNTIL HE FINALLY GAVE UP ON HIS HUGS & SHOOK MY FRIENDS HANDS & LEFT. I WILLINGLY WENT INTO THE FUCKING OCEAN IN A SWEATSHIRT & JEANS TO DODGE THIS MANS HUG BRO. DO U UNDERSTAND HOW BAD THAT IS??????
he then kept messaging us all throughout the rest of our trip asking to join our plans or trying to make new plans & we kept coming up with excuses or just generally avoiding him. he clearly did not want to read the room. he was all like
he then proceeded to talk to himself in my dms for months after while consistently spamming my brother with questions as to why I’m not answering him. then finally, I realized that it’s not rude not to want someone in my life, especially for VALID reasons, so I blocked him https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥳" title="Partying face" aria-label="Emoji: Partying face">
& that is the end to my story y’all!!! I hope y’all enjoyed it & learned a lesson or two.
& if, by the off chance that mutual see’s this story, you’re fucked bro & pls never talk to me again!!!!!!!!!
okie bye everyone thanks for tuning in xoxo
& if, by the off chance that mutual see’s this story, you’re fucked bro & pls never talk to me again!!!!!!!!!
okie bye everyone thanks for tuning in xoxo
