Sometimes I think I’m a big baby about chronic pain and it probably isn’t as bad as I think it is, and then I remember the time I let a misdiagnosed dental abscess hang around for 6 months and when it got properly diagnosed everyone was like, how are you not screaming in pain?

It got into my lymph system (and was actually the beginning of my chronic pain, but whatever)

But also the thing about being a woman* is that if you are screaming in pain, they think you’re histrionic, but if you’re stoic about it, they think it’s not that bad

*and I’m a white cis woman, so my experience with medical systems is better than that of more marginalized women

Oh and then! When I had terrible back pain last year and went to the ER! The first doctor I saw was quite salty to me when she asked me to rate my pain and I said 8/10. Then a more senior doctor was like “oh, her SI joint has dislocated” and I felt vindicated but also

If you’re too obviously in pain, they think you’re drug-seeking! If you’re not obviously in enough pain, they think you’re lying about how much pain you’re in! There is no correct answer!

Also I know lots of other women in their mid-30s who have serious, seemingly undiagnosable chronic pain and I can’t stop thinking about the vast majority of what we know about bodies and medicine is based on the experiences of cis men and that’s not going to change anytime soon

Even when it comes to medication, we often don’t know how it acts on the body of someone who’s not a cis man because the vast majority of drug trials only include them