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can we just talk about how they unintentionally confirmed each other's biggest fear: gon's being not important to people and killua's being a partner instead of a friend? (this makes no sense but hear me out: a thread)
gon throughout the entire series has had subtle self esteem issues, he on multiple occasions feels like he's inadequate, weak, unworthy, and has the need to prove himself to others and/or be important, which to him is the only worth he has. this scene is subtle, but it's still +
there, and i feel like it's a blow to those issues. think about it, from day one, gon has thought that ging left because "being a hunter is more important than family" (aka him). in his fight with hisoka, he feels so weak and worthless that he goes to help leorio and kurapika and
craved support from them. gon wears his heart on his sleeve but even he has issues with usefulness or worth. support or words of encouragement are positive influences for these kinds of things, and while we see gon get some throughout the series, we don't really see +
killua OUTWARDLY express his gratitude/love. this IS NOT killua's fault at all, but at the same time gon's absolutely oblivious to the extent killua cares about him (we as the audience see killua's internal feelings towards gon, but gon himself never really sees them)
what im trying to say is that, unintentionally, killua saying that gon was only second to alluka had to hurt. imagine being left by your dad because you're second best to his job, and now you're still second best. it's just has to hurt his already low self-worth.
onto killua, we see killua struggle with so many feelings throughout the series, one being his worry over whether or not he's worthy enough to be gon's friend. now, idk the exact scene but during the palace invasion, after gon said "let's go" killua wonders if he's being +
referred to as a friend or a partner. killua WANTS to be gon's friend, we see this time and time again, but he doesn't think he deserves it. he struggles so much with this, and gon telling him he's "part of the gang" instead of "his friend" seems although subtle, still a blow.
like they've always referred to each other as friends/best friends, and this is one of the first times there isn't that. and once again, it's unintentional, but it's still there, a subtle confirmation to killua that he isn't a friend but a partner instead.
ALL OF THIS IS UNINTENTIONAL THOUGH, they both have an issue when it comes to communication and this wasn't meant with any bad intention. they're both unaware of the potential hurt they gave each other, and i think that's just sad
THIS MADE NO SENSE WHOOPS
KILLUGON COMMJNICATE OPENLY TO EACH OTHER CHALLENGE but anyways end of thread! there's a meta addressing this somewhere but i can't find it rn, if i do ill link it
