I don’t know why I even have to say this, but here goes:

We are responsible for the harm we cause regardless of our intentions or the reasons behind them.

Do not come around me trying to justify abuse because of ADHD symptoms.

I’ve been sitting here thinking of why the interaction I had earlier bothered me so much, and I think genuinely it because so many people tried to write my abusers actions off as his ADHD symptoms. It was like he got ahold of that diagnosis and had a new tool.

I know how this disorder can manifest. Abusing someone is still abusing them. The abuse doesn’t lessen because your ADHD was the reason you lost control. It’s funny because if he had given me a black eye, people may have gotten it. But since he was “only” killing me emotionally?

Well that was a manifestation of his ADHD, and with love and forgiveness and patience that could be worked out. It didn’t matter that he was saying things to me that took me years to heal from. All that mattered was helping him. Because I could mask better my needs were ignored

All this did was drive me further into isolation. I believed if I could be more patient and kind and loving all the problems would resolve themselves. If I could clean better it would be ok. If I could fuck someone who treated me like scum, It would work out. *I* was the problem.

I’m not ever going to be down for hearing someone who tries to justify that line of thinking. We give love and grace to our loved ones but we do not allow them to destroy us in the name of healing themselves . That’s asking too much.