Some people have abandonment issues as children that they’re still dealing with as adults and wonder why they have a hard time being vulnerable in relationships

First and foremost abandonment is a form of anxiety, and some people face it when they lose someone that they care about. People with abandonment issues live in their losses. They push people to leave so when that person does leave they don’t have to be surprised

Someone who’s cared for as a child develops self esteem, they feel more secured, they have a good understanding, and a strong foundation is built for knowing how to build healthy relationships for later in life

So let’s flip it, someone who’s not cared for, someone who don’t have a strong understanding, that foundation is not built for any kind of healthy relationships for later in life, a lot fo times these people form PTSD of abandonment

When your young no matter what type of abandonment, it can make you feel unimportant, unsafe and unsure on how their needs will be met. This follows you into adulthood and can have a psychological imprint

Abandonment can lead to substance abuse,eating disorders, mental health disorders and difficulties having a meaningful healthy relationship

The development years are so important. Your relationships at a young age show you how to identify danger, identify your own needs, it teaches you how to bond with new people, and it teaches you how to be loved properly by another person

Maybe your caregiver was neglectful, maybe your parents got a divorce at a young age, maybe your caregivers was heavy on drugs and they just failed to love you like you should’ve been love

It’s a lot of causes as to why someone may suffer from abandonment issues, maybe your caregivers was unable to provide your basic needs because they were physically unable, maybe someone who made you feel safe left unexpectedly

Maybe depression was a big cause, maybe you had a parent who was emotionally unavailable, maybe you lived in a household where there was no stability

It’s all kinda of signs of abandonment issues, maybe you have anxiety, maybe you’re depressed, maybe you fear being left alone or abandoned, maybe your unable to form healthy relationship and you don’t connect it to abandonment issues

Maybe you don’t feel like you’re enough, maybe you’re emotionally unavailable and it hard for you to connect so you check out early as far relationships goes, maybe you hold on to toxic relationships even when you know it’s toxic but you rather the toxic over feeling alone

Maybe you avoid relationships or friendships all together, maybe you love to judge your own self, maybe you react in the extreme in situations or maybe you don’t react at all, maybe you have emotional flashbacks and it leads to emotional distress

People with a abandonment issues a lot of times are people pleasers. They try to impress everyone they meet. You try the hardest in relationships by putting everyone else needs in front of your own as long as it gets them to stay

People with abandonment issues struggle with insecurity. You have the thought of someday the people close to you will get sick of you and leave. This comes from a loved one walking out on you in the past and you internalize the personal trauma, so you seek constant reassurance

You’ve been hurt in the past and you have a strong fear of being left alone, so you like to be in control of relationships because if you in control you think you control if they stay or leave and that can lead to unreasonable jealousy, suspicion and possessiveness

You have a hard time being vulnerable.A lot of times when emotional intimacy is involved you get uncomfortable. You’re scared to get close to someone because when you do you’ll feel like you’ll be needing them too much. You push people away as soon as you start to care about them

People with abandonment issues often times look for reasons to leave because you fear you’ll get too attached to them. You give people unrealistic standards and you focus on their flaws. You do this knowing that they’re bound to disappoint you so you have a reason to leave

You move on quick. You have difficulty forming meaningful relationships that last because of the fear of abandonment. You jump from relationship to relationship because you never want to be alone because then you will have to confront the personal issues you’ve been repressing

People with abandonment issues love to cling on to unhealthy relationships. You gravitate towards all the wrong people. You stayed with someone knowing that they’re bad for you and that’s so toxic

People with abandonment issues often times demand emotional guarantees. they need constant reassurance. they love hearing sayings like “I’ll never leave you no matter what” and they’ll hold you to that

A number of things can lead to abandonment issues,It can come from death,losing a loved one unexpected,it can come from abuse, physical or sexual,it can come from poverty,basic needs not being met, or it can come from relationships loss,that could be divorce, death,infidelity,etc

To help with your own abandonment issues you have to first realize what the underlying trauma is, Unhealthy coping skills will only make the situation worse, that pain is hurting you inside and the unhealthy coping skills will take you high and eventually will bring you back down

If you’re dating someone with abandonment issues, keeping secrets is not wise, open communication is very helpful, let them know they can trust you because trust is very important to them because they already have a hard time trusting anyway, be clear with how you feel

Please don’t pressure them, they already have a hard time being vulnerable from being hurt in the past, so never push them to open up when they’re not ready

It’s so important to understand why they might be pulling away. They may be so afraid of rejection that they will try to damage the connection, they might like to pick fights randomly, all because they try to avoid to feeling of being abandoned so they abandon you first

You can tell them you won’t hurt them until you blue in the face, but it’s very important to know that if you plan to pursue this person, please be ready and willing to prove yourself, actions behind your words goes along way

Don’t make promises that you can’t keep and making too many promises might push them away because they already have a thought that you’re gonna leave anyway

At the end of the day, you don’t have to be with someone with abandonment issues but if you are is wise to try to understand them,learn them because they deserve to be loved properly also