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I& #39;m a nurse in a memory care facility. Just a lone voice in the wilderness adding to a choir of outrage over this footage. But I want to tell you about Betty*
Obviously not her real name https://twitter.com/nycsouthpaw/status/1312064332306542592">https://twitter.com/nycsouthp...
Obviously not her real name https://twitter.com/nycsouthpaw/status/1312064332306542592">https://twitter.com/nycsouthp...
Betty is 86 years old & has Alzheimer& #39;s. Before she fell victim to this terrible disease she was married to her husband Bill*
Together they a started a farm, & a family in the Heartland
Bill & Betty raised 7 kids & a menagerie of animals, harvested wheat & corn, lived modestly
Together they a started a farm, & a family in the Heartland
Bill & Betty raised 7 kids & a menagerie of animals, harvested wheat & corn, lived modestly
2 years ago, Betty developed the symptoms of Alzheimer& #39;s
After many agonizing conversations with her doctor, a decision was made to place Betty in an assistive living facility.
While this was a difficult transition for both Betty & Bill, it was the right choice & at first...
After many agonizing conversations with her doctor, a decision was made to place Betty in an assistive living facility.
While this was a difficult transition for both Betty & Bill, it was the right choice & at first...
..it was working beautifully.
Betty had skilled nursing care available to her 24/7. And her husband Bill came to visit her every day.
He would come, rain or shine, at 8am on the dot.
Right after he fed the cows & tended to his farm duties.
Betty had skilled nursing care available to her 24/7. And her husband Bill came to visit her every day.
He would come, rain or shine, at 8am on the dot.
Right after he fed the cows & tended to his farm duties.
Bill came at breakfast & sat with Betty, fixing up her coffee just the way she liked it- 3 creams, 2 sugars, and a dash of hot chocolate.
After breakfast he took her to her room where he helped bathe & dress her.
He always wanted to make sure her outfits were put together
After breakfast he took her to her room where he helped bathe & dress her.
He always wanted to make sure her outfits were put together
Things like this mattered to Betty. They mattered when she was 18, & they mattered when she was 87. They mattered when her mind was sharp & when it dulled.
But what mattered to her the most-what MATTERS to her still- is Bill.
Holy moly does this woman love her Bill
But what mattered to her the most-what MATTERS to her still- is Bill.
Holy moly does this woman love her Bill
Bill is Betty& #39;s life. Bill is her rock & her protector.
Bill is the only one she allows to wash her hair
Bill is the one she cries out for at night, & then I write it in her chart again- "patient calling out for & #39;Bill& #39;, at times inconsolable. Pt told Bill will be here tomorrow"
Bill is the only one she allows to wash her hair
Bill is the one she cries out for at night, & then I write it in her chart again- "patient calling out for & #39;Bill& #39;, at times inconsolable. Pt told Bill will be here tomorrow"
But Bill will not be here tomorrow.
Bill has not been here for 7 months & counting.
Bill wakes at the crack of dawn each day, tends to his animals & crops, then makes his daily phone call to the nursing home to see if he can see Betty today.
And the answer is always "no".
Bill has not been here for 7 months & counting.
Bill wakes at the crack of dawn each day, tends to his animals & crops, then makes his daily phone call to the nursing home to see if he can see Betty today.
And the answer is always "no".
Bill can& #39;t see Betty because Betty lives in a "hot spot"
Bill cannot see Betty bc they live in Trump country, where no one wears masks & reality is denied.
Bill & Betty haven& #39;tt touched each other in over 7 months, & now Betty is dying.
Not from COVID. From a broken heart.
Bill cannot see Betty bc they live in Trump country, where no one wears masks & reality is denied.
Bill & Betty haven& #39;tt touched each other in over 7 months, & now Betty is dying.
Not from COVID. From a broken heart.
Empathy is a finite quality.
Caregiver burnout is real.
Every day I go into work & lie to a sweet old woman, telling her that her husband will "be here soon!"
He won& #39;t be here soon.
He will never fucking be here.
The cavalry is not coming for these forgotten Americans.
Caregiver burnout is real.
Every day I go into work & lie to a sweet old woman, telling her that her husband will "be here soon!"
He won& #39;t be here soon.
He will never fucking be here.
The cavalry is not coming for these forgotten Americans.
I want you for just one second to feel the clinch of anguish & despair in my stomach every time I have to tell this poor woman "he will be here soon!"
Knowing it& #39;s a lie.
Knowing she will likely die alone.
Knowing she will NEVER hug Bill again.
Knowing it& #39;s a lie.
Knowing she will likely die alone.
Knowing she will NEVER hug Bill again.
There are times in my career I wonder if I should just start recording
Would anyone care?
Would it matter to you if you heard a sweet old woman screaming for a hug & reassurance from her ONLY protector? Please don& #39;t forget the kinds of horrific secrets these women often bury
Would anyone care?
Would it matter to you if you heard a sweet old woman screaming for a hug & reassurance from her ONLY protector? Please don& #39;t forget the kinds of horrific secrets these women often bury
I will wash Betty& #39;s hair tonight.
I will do so lovingly & gently, bit I will be no substitute.
Betty only met me a few months ago.
For all intents & purposes she will die alone.
I will do so lovingly & gently, bit I will be no substitute.
Betty only met me a few months ago.
For all intents & purposes she will die alone.
