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Katsuki confesses with a kiss.
#kiribaku
CW: homophobia, angst, heartbreak
But:
πΊππππππππ ππ ππππ πππ πππ ππππ'π ππππππ ππ ππππ ππ πππ ππππππππππ ππππππππ ππππ πππππππ.
#kiribaku
CW: homophobia, angst, heartbreak
But:
πΊππππππππ ππ ππππ πππ πππ ππππ'π ππππππ ππ ππππ ππ πππ ππππππππππ ππππππππ ππππ πππππππ.
It's been months of hell.
As soon as Katsuki realised he was in love with Kirishima, his whole life turned upside-down.
It's been a fucking nightmare.
As soon as Katsuki realised he was in love with Kirishima, his whole life turned upside-down.
It's been a fucking nightmare.
He can't eat, sleep, breathe or train without thinking about the ball of sunshine redhead who totally shouldn't be his type.
He can't function when they're in the same room because he's looking at things he shouldn't or daydreaming about moments that will never take place.
He can't function when they're in the same room because he's looking at things he shouldn't or daydreaming about moments that will never take place.
Katsuki is a shadow of who he used to be because all of his light has been swallowed up by a boy who looks back at him like he hung the moon and stars.
And therein lies an even bigger problem.
Kirishima likes him...back?
No...not possible.
Why would anyone like-
And therein lies an even bigger problem.
Kirishima likes him...back?
No...not possible.
Why would anyone like-
Mina smacks him for 'daring to think that'.
He hadn't meant for anyone to find out. Fuck, when she'd approached him and asked him outright if he was in love with Kirishima, he'd almost punched her in the face.
But having her stand there, having someone stand there with
He hadn't meant for anyone to find out. Fuck, when she'd approached him and asked him outright if he was in love with Kirishima, he'd almost punched her in the face.
But having her stand there, having someone stand there with
the possibility of them knowing and sharing his burden after so long suffering alone??
He'd opened his mouth to tell her to fuck off.
Instead, he'd choked a 'yes' and then exploded the fire hydrant beside the sidewalk they were both standing on.
He'd opened his mouth to tell her to fuck off.
Instead, he'd choked a 'yes' and then exploded the fire hydrant beside the sidewalk they were both standing on.
He'd been convinced he'd regret telling her but her perceptive nature has come in handy.
She doesn't let him get too carried away. She helps him refocus when he needs it. She points out things about Kirishima that help prove he loves Katsuki too.
And she reads a room well.
She doesn't let him get too carried away. She helps him refocus when he needs it. She points out things about Kirishima that help prove he loves Katsuki too.
And she reads a room well.
She knows when to shut up talking about Katsuki's...predicament.
So they're walking home from class, Katsuki and Mina a way's away from Sero, Kaminari and Kirishima who are all crying laughing at something the redhead had said.
"It's nearly graduation," Mina ponders aloud.
So they're walking home from class, Katsuki and Mina a way's away from Sero, Kaminari and Kirishima who are all crying laughing at something the redhead had said.
"It's nearly graduation," Mina ponders aloud.
"Have you considered what we talked about in the library yesterday?
Katsuki glares forward, eyes burning holes into the massive, muscular back of the boy he likes so very, very much.
"No, because it's stupid."
Mina punches him the ribs.
He calls her a bitch.
Katsuki glares forward, eyes burning holes into the massive, muscular back of the boy he likes so very, very much.
"No, because it's stupid."
Mina punches him the ribs.
He calls her a bitch.
They keep walking.
"I've done exactly as you asked," she snaps, taking to prodding him in the shoulder. "I haven't spoken to him about how he feels but damn it, Blasty! I've never seen anything more obvious! He's in so deep for you. I can feel it in my bones."
Feeling it in bones is dangerous.
Feeling it in bones is dangerous.
Bones are bones. Truth is truth.
Katsuki just can't risk losing the powerful friendship he and Kirishima have built. They're best friends. He's never had anyone in his life who matters more to him.
They spend every moment of their free time together.
Katsuki just can't risk losing the powerful friendship he and Kirishima have built. They're best friends. He's never had anyone in his life who matters more to him.
They spend every moment of their free time together.
Since the League of Villains and the nightmares, Kirishima even creeps in and sleeps beside him most nights now. It's become habit.
Ironically, beautifully, Kirishima is Katsuki's rock who keeps him grounded, keeps him safe from himself and keeps him happy.
He can't risk...
Ironically, beautifully, Kirishima is Katsuki's rock who keeps him grounded, keeps him safe from himself and keeps him happy.
He can't risk...
...He can't risk losing that.
He can't risk there being a Kirishima-sized hole in his life, since a Kirishima-sized hole will be one big enough for him to fall straight through and into somewhere he'll ever escape from.
He can't risk there being a Kirishima-sized hole in his life, since a Kirishima-sized hole will be one big enough for him to fall straight through and into somewhere he'll ever escape from.
But on the flipside, saying nothing is killing him all the same.
What if he only needs to say one word, mutter one single word and that's all Kirishima will need to hear to sweep him into his arms and kiss him?
What if they're both being idiots and letting their fear claim the moments that should be theirs?
Mina sighs as Katsuki groans.
What if they're both being idiots and letting their fear claim the moments that should be theirs?
Mina sighs as Katsuki groans.
He doesn't know what to do.
That is, he didn't know.
But now he's laying in bed, drenched in panic, hunger and the darkness of the night. Kirishima's face is inches from his own and they've finally stopped talking to settle down and sleep.
Katsuki can feel his breath on his lips.
But now he's laying in bed, drenched in panic, hunger and the darkness of the night. Kirishima's face is inches from his own and they've finally stopped talking to settle down and sleep.
Katsuki can feel his breath on his lips.
He just wants to kiss him.
Perhaps it's the adrenaline still burning through him from the evening's training. Perhaps it's because, as he inches closer, fraction by fraction, Kirishima doesn't back away.
Perhaps Katsuki's just done waiting.
But he does just that.
Perhaps Katsuki's just done waiting.
But he does just that.
He closes the distance.
His heart is racing. His palms are sweating, his chest is aching.
And his lips are pressed against his best friend's.
Who has gone as still as a statue.
His heart is racing. His palms are sweating, his chest is aching.
And his lips are pressed against his best friend's.
Who has gone as still as a statue.
And who then shatters the moment like the glass it is by launching himself from the bed. Only the light from the street illuminates him.
He looks petrified.
Katsuki chokes on the heart in his throat.
No-
"Bakugou, I'm not...oh god, you just..."
He looks petrified.
Katsuki chokes on the heart in his throat.
No-
"Bakugou, I'm not...oh god, you just..."
Katsuki cant breathe. It's as though his lungs are as trapped as he feels, as though there's a vice around him that's crushing every ounce of hope and joy from his spirit.
Kirishima backs away.
"I can't... I don't-"
"Yeah, I fucking got that," Katsuki snarls.
Kirishima backs away.
"I can't... I don't-"
"Yeah, I fucking got that," Katsuki snarls.
And then the door slams.
And Katsuki is alone.
He stares at the empty space by the door, wondering and praying that the last few moments have been nothing but a nightmare, but he's no fool.
And Katsuki is alone.
He stares at the empty space by the door, wondering and praying that the last few moments have been nothing but a nightmare, but he's no fool.
The Kirishima-sized hole has finally been forged and Katsuki, long since on the precipice, tumbles over.
He falls down and down and down until he hits rock bottom with such force that he breaks into too many pieces for any person to fix.
-----------TBC
He falls down and down and down until he hits rock bottom with such force that he breaks into too many pieces for any person to fix.
-----------TBC
Mina has never seen anything like it.
Bakugou is at his desk, and he looks ππππ¦.
His skin is ghostly and the shadows under his eyes are horrendous. He isn't carrying the usual Blasty shoulder tension or that familiar, unamused scowl.
No.
His face is emotionless.
Dead to the world.
She watches as he picks up his pencil, following Ectoplasm's instruction to start his calculations, and he slowly drops his gaze to the paper on his table before running a hand down his face. It stays there a moment before the pencil in his other hand snaps in two.
Her heart lurches. What βπππππππ?
Worst still, Kiri just...isn't present.
His desk sits empty and everyone assumes he's ill.
Mina fears that she knows better.
How could she have been so wrong? Kirishima πππ£ππ Bakugou; they're her little Kiribaku boys! Right?!
Worst still, Kiri just...isn't present.
His desk sits empty and everyone assumes he's ill.
Mina fears that she knows better.
How could she have been so wrong? Kirishima πππ£ππ Bakugou; they're her little Kiribaku boys! Right?!
She can't have made such a monumental error in judgement, not after everything! And surely Bakugou wouldn't have dared gone for it had he not believed the outcome would be wonderful.
No.
Something is πππ right.
She just has to work out what it is.
"Ashido! Focus!"
No.
Something is πππ right.
She just has to work out what it is.
"Ashido! Focus!"
Ectoplasm suddenly looms beside her, making her and the others around her jump.
Blasty doesn't even flinch.
Blasty doesn't even flinch.
πΌ πππ'π‘ ππ π‘βππ .
πΌ πππ'π‘ ππ π‘βππ .
πΌ πππ'π‘ do π‘βππ .
Eijirou stares into the rushing waterfall, a full twenty stops from Musutafu.
He's the only one around.
The temple behind him is silent aside from the sound of the raging water.
πβπ¦.
πβπ¦ had Bakugou done that?
Why?! Why did he have to FUCK UP everything that Eijirou has worked so desperately hard to- to--
He screams out at the cascading waters and they swallow the noise, just as they always have done.
πβπ¦ had Bakugou done that?
Why?! Why did he have to FUCK UP everything that Eijirou has worked so desperately hard to- to--
He screams out at the cascading waters and they swallow the noise, just as they always have done.
He falls to his knees in the dirt, not bothering with his quirk so that he can feel the pain and add to nearly ten years' worth of scars.
Eijirou's tears stream like the very river before him.
"Why?" he sobs aloud, his voice a brittle bone shared by the maws of hateful lions.
Eijirou's tears stream like the very river before him.
"Why?" he sobs aloud, his voice a brittle bone shared by the maws of hateful lions.
"πβπ¦ did you make me this way?"
The only answer he receives is that of rain drops landing on his pallid cheeks.
They never have been able to answer that question.
Not when he's asked it.
Not when his father has asked it.
Not when his uncles have asked it.
The only answer he receives is that of rain drops landing on his pallid cheeks.
They never have been able to answer that question.
Not when he's asked it.
Not when his father has asked it.
Not when his uncles have asked it.
The gods don't have an answer, it seems. They don't have a fix.
So the mistake, the problem-child that is Eijirou Kirishima, has to take a breath, suck it up and pretend.
Like always.
But this time it's different.
Another boy wants him. Likes him.
πΎππ π ππ him.
So the mistake, the problem-child that is Eijirou Kirishima, has to take a breath, suck it up and pretend.
Like always.
But this time it's different.
Another boy wants him. Likes him.
πΎππ π ππ him.
Despite his best efforts of making those urges GO AWAY, here he is. There he was, the night before, wanting more than anything to kiss that boy right back.
And now even that perfect boy hates him for what he is.
And now even that perfect boy hates him for what he is.
Just like everyone fucking else.
-----TBC
-----TBC
Katsuki only realises he's forgotten to eat for a while when Sero appears at his door with a takeout box from the squad's favourite noodle place.
"Hey. I, uh, dunno know what's happened and I don't wan ask, but I noticed you didn't eat lunch the past two days."
His eyes fall to the bagged container in Sero's hand.
"It's spicy chicken. Your favourite, right?" He doesn't even fight it when Sero forces his hand to take it. The weight of the contents feels like a brick in his weakened state.
God, he's so pathetic.
"It's spicy chicken. Your favourite, right?" He doesn't even fight it when Sero forces his hand to take it. The weight of the contents feels like a brick in his weakened state.
God, he's so pathetic.
He doesnβt want to admit defeat, doesnβt want to admit that heβs noticing his stomach is practically ripping itself apart inside of him, but he takes the bag, nods at Sero and closes his door.
Then he slides down the cold wood of it and silently sobs as he opens the package heβs been given by his friend.
Hanta stares at the place where Bakugou had just been standing, lowering his eyebrows.
It just doesnβt make sense to him.
Kirishima and Bakugou...there had always been something there.
Hadnβt there?
Hadnβt there?
Heβs not an idiot. He doesnβt need people to tell him whatβs going on - he can guess. Kirishima and Bakugou are ghosts of their former selves and heβs seen enough heartbreak in his life through his momβs two divorces to know what it looks like.
Hanta places a hand on Bakugouβs door and sighs.
βIβm here if you need me,β he says softly, just as heβd done for Kirishima. His words are quiet, but loud enough for him to know that the shadow at the bottom of the door can hear him.
βIβm here if you need me,β he says softly, just as heβd done for Kirishima. His words are quiet, but loud enough for him to know that the shadow at the bottom of the door can hear him.
Itβs 5am and Katsuki hasnβt really slept.
Heβs so filled with rage, so damn pissed that Kirishima would dare behave how he has done all this time only for him to πππ‘ have feelings.
All the touches, the moments in the dark, the π πππππππ π‘ππππ‘βππ, the glances, the closenessβ¦
God!
Itβs all such ππ’πππ βππ‘!
God!
Itβs all such ππ’πππ βππ‘!
Kirishima needs to learn that he canβt be that way with a person - he canβt behave like heβs in freaking πππ£π with them - because itβs not fair.
Katsuki throws himself out of bed and tugs on his sweats.
Itβs not ππππ.
Katsuki throws himself out of bed and tugs on his sweats.
Itβs not ππππ.
*
The walk to the gym is chilly but he shrugs off the cold and powers on. Heβll be hot enough soon from his reps to not care about it anymore.
The campus grounds are dead aside from the birds that are beginning to tweet in the trees as the sun starts to rise.
The walk to the gym is chilly but he shrugs off the cold and powers on. Heβll be hot enough soon from his reps to not care about it anymore.
The campus grounds are dead aside from the birds that are beginning to tweet in the trees as the sun starts to rise.
Katsuki enters the gym and scowls, ready to wreck himself.
He needs to feel pain, needs to feel hurt, needs to-
He needs to feel pain, needs to feel hurt, needs to-
...He regrets throwing the door open.
The redhead at the punch bag swivels around, tears streaming, mouth falling open as he sees Katsuki standing there.
He looks awful.
He looks awful.
Katsuki doesnβt care.
They stare at one another, one frozen with shoulders rising and falling and one with his knuckles red-raw from using no gloves, no wraps, no quirk.
Kirishima clearly wants to feel pain. Wants to hurt.
πβπ¦.
What the hell has he got to be upset about?
πβπ¦.
What the hell has he got to be upset about?
βπΎππ‘π π’ππ,β the boy releases on an exhale, his lip wobbling.
Katsukiβs first name falling from Kirishimaβs lips wraps around him like a snake, constricting him until he explodes.
Katsukiβs first name falling from Kirishimaβs lips wraps around him like a snake, constricting him until he explodes.
His quirk propels him forwards and he makes contact with Kirishima, slamming into his chest.
He clams up when he notes that Kirishima still hasnβt activated his quirk, but neither gets to say anything until the force of Katsukiβs propulsion has them crashing into the ropes of the boxing ring.
The stretch of the ropes has them rebounding off into a pile on the floor and Katsuki wastes no time in snatching Kirishima by the front of his shirt and dragging him to his feet.
The redhead is bleeding from his lip and the bruises on his ribs are already beginning to show. It doesnβt stop Katsuki from shoving him back against the side of the ring.
βWipe your fucking tears, you piece of shit!" he roars. "πππ’ played ππ. πΌ'π the one who gets to cry. πΌ'π the one who gets to hurt.β
Heβs shaking as he shakes Kirishima silly.
Kirishima, whoβs taking everything heβs getting in a strange, chilling silence.
Kirishima, who still has tears pouring down his stained cheeks.
Kirishima, whoβs taking everything heβs getting in a strange, chilling silence.
Kirishima, who still has tears pouring down his stained cheeks.
βSTOP CRYING!!β Katsuki yells, but suddenly heβs wiping those tears away with his thumbs because itβs agony to see his friend this way, this boy he loves. God, he loves him and he hates that he canβt have him and-
And then Kirishima is kissing him.
Heβs taken Katsukiβs face in his palms and heβs kissing him so hard it almost hurts.
Then it doesnβt hurt, because their mouths begin to move and suddenly Katsuki canβt breathe and canβt think and canβt stop.
Then it doesnβt hurt, because their mouths begin to move and suddenly Katsuki canβt breathe and canβt think and canβt stop.
Kirishima yanks him close, sobbing openly into his mouth but kissing him all the same, and Katsuki wraps his arms around his neck.
They stumble, almost falling to the floor, and Katsuki swipes his tongue between Kirishimaβs lips and-
They stumble, almost falling to the floor, and Katsuki swipes his tongue between Kirishimaβs lips and-
And then Kirishima shoves him back, eyes round as moons.
He looks like an animal thatβs noticed itβs at the end of a hunterβs gun and just like that heβs gone, leaving Katsuki stranded in the middle of the gym, staring at the swinging door.
His fingers come up to trace his tingling mouth as confusion sweeps over him.
What. the. fuck.
---------- TBC
What. the. fuck.
---------- TBC
