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hi i opened this acc again to rant 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Nachdenkliches Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Nachdenkliches Gesicht"> idk i just feel more comfortable sharing my rants through tweets rather than messaging my friends directly coz i personally don& #39;t wanna be a burden to people bc i know my friends are struggling as well +
+ and me ranting on twt means i somehow, and hopefully don& #39;t get people that pressured to comfort me since i don& #39;t open directly to them, (coz i just want to let my emotions out https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ„ș" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face">) i don& #39;t want them to feel the & #39;need& #39; to reply & some may prolly misunderstand my concerns +
+so here it goes, we just had our major exams this week (first day was actually last week but the two remaining days was moved this week) and the set up of the exam was online obviously. from the start of this sy palang, i already set the goals for myself and that is to continue+
+ doing well in my acad performance, (i& #39;m not bragging or anything pls don& #39;t misunderstandhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ„ș" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face">) BUT THE SET UP FOR THIS SCHOOL YEAR really made it hard for me to do so,, it was so mentally and emotionally draining, i don& #39;t even understand some lessons since i have short +
+ attention span, i easily get distracted by things. i was used in learning through face to face set up (i mean, we all are) since i can focus more and i can understand the lessons more . +
+ also, on onlne classes, the requirements are too loaded (i know sometimes u still see me having a time to fangirl and lurk here on twt hsjsjs but believe me, i just stay here on stan twt to +
+ keep myself sane for awhile, to rest for awhile and to feel comforted for awhile) okay so back to the main topic of my rant, i just finished my major examsâ which i prepared a lot forâ i slept at 3:00 am for consecutive days to finish my reviewers, to review and to understand +
+ all the lessons, my friends and i were even having video conferences at night to review together, then after that i& #39;ll review the lessons again by myself. i thought i was just doing fine, i thought it was all enough but upon taking up the exams +
+ and upon knowing the scores that i got, i realized that it wasn& #39;t. it makes me frustrated knowing that i did my best but still, my best wasn& #39;t enough. i kept on asking myself, "ano bang kulang sa ginawa ko?" +
+ "dapat ba mas nagreview pa ako?" though i know i already pushed myself into my limits just to study for that major exams. and that& #39;s what made me upset. i really cried hard yesterday, lol at my emotional ass. and also, what bothered me the most is that I encountered this +
+ question to myself as i was breaking down, "itutuloy ko pa ba & #39;to? tama ba & #39;tong tinahak ko?" coz i got a bad score on my elective subject (anaphy- which is connected to the course i wanna take up. that& #39;s why i really took it as big deal) so yeah, it affected me badly
+ coz i consider grade 12 as my first ACTUAL step to my dreams. i& #39;m just STARTING my journey and yet, i feel like i can& #39;t do it anymore. i felt so unmotivated. i kept questioning myself if "medicine" is really for me. +
+ i know the saying na "grades is just a number" i know too i shouldn& #39;t be so conscious about grades that much and i should look after the learnings for this school year. but i can& #39;t still help but feel disappointed and feel down. +
+ back then, i used to get grades that satisfy me, i used to be so happy at my scores in major exams [ again, not bragging pls don& #39;t misunderstand t^t ] so maybe that& #39;s the reason why i got this upset and disappointed, coz i unexpectedly built this high expectations for myself +
+ which is wrong. and it took me some time to realize that. i can& #39;t say that I& #39;m completely fine alr rn, i still feel sad over it ok :( but i know too i should not let these frustrations take over and i should start standing up for my dreams again instead. +
+ i know i sound so grade conscious butndksk pls i& #39;m not THAT KIND of grade conscious https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ„ș" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face"> its just that.. one thing i fear the most is failure. and i& #39;m really sensitive when it comes to my academics. +
+ sorry if some of u might think na i& #39;m overreacting coz "grades lang" naman iyon, na kaya pang bawiin sa susunod. i know grades shouldn& #39;t be the basis in learning & i should not focus much on it.. but it& #39;s one of the VERY few things kasi that makes me somehow, proud of myself:(+
+ ( i don& #39;t get pressured by my parents btw, they are always proud of me, it& #39;s i, myself who pressures myself which is wrong nga huhu but i& #39;m working out on that part of me..)
+ i also wanna add that one of the reasons why i tweeted this thread is bc i BADLY WANNA get this out na dahil wala akong time for breakdowns since nga super dami pa ring reqs and we got no time to rest. and i feel like the more i open it up, the more the frustrations +
+ will fade away, the more i talk about it, the more i can get over it coz i am finally freeing my emotions. so yeah ;(( +
+ sorry for making this long ass thread but i just really wanted to vent out all my emotionsâ coz it& #39;s too much to handle already. but i want to remind you all, including myself, that doing our best is always more than enough. we should continue striving for our dreams +
+ but not to the extent na we torture ourselvesâ emotionally, mentally and physically. we should always take our time to rest too.
if nakarating ka dito, thank u for listening to my rants huhu much appreciatedhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ„ș" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Wachsendes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Wachsendes Herz">
reminder that we can all survive this and we all got this.
if nakarating ka dito, thank u for listening to my rants huhu much appreciated
reminder that we can all survive this and we all got this.
