*he is awake, his breathing is unsteady and his demeanor is fearful. He had a nightmare. A terrible, vivid one. One with fire, and death, and /him/.*
ffuck,,, oh my g-god....
ffuck,,, oh my g-god....
*with shaky arms he pulls his blankets closer to his chest. No, he is not crying, you /clearly/ are seeing things. Someone as wretched and vile and disgusting as him doesnt deserve to cry. He doesn’t deserve to be upset about anything, he wanted it all, its what was what needed
to happen, clearly. He is rotten and sickening and festering. He doesn’t deserve empathy. He doesn’t deserve love; he deserves to be hated.*
*he gets up and makes his way to the bathroom. When he looks in the mirror, he doesn’t recognize the face that looks back at him. The form in the mirror /isn’t/ his, he swears. It can’t possibly be his body*
*he is not okay, he is now on the floor of the bathroom, (not) crying and (not) having a panic attack. But this is what he deserves.*
// this thread leads to this one btw: https://twitter.com/avaegoism/status/1312682603653345281