Late night tweet: the reason why teachers are continuing through this is because we know there is an end to this pandemic. If this were to last forever, many of us would have already resigned this month because the workload and fear and almost-hourly changes are unsustainable. 1/

I'm up trying to write down all of the ways teaching is different now, and there's a whole new set of responsibilities that I hdidn't understand until just now. The relationship building and social emotional should be #1 during a pandemic, but everything else is so much. 2/

And to be clear, the main reason teachers are teaching right now is for our students. A fundamental dilemma of our profession is, how much of ourselves are we willing to give to our students, while also being able to sustain ourselves AND create safer, more equitable schools? 3/

If I left my students, I'd leave a bureaucratic, racist school system while my students and colleagues continued to be in it, and that is my privilege and ability in this situation. I haven't thought of quitting (yet) but I know many other teachers who've left forever. 4/

Knowing I have the choice to leave @NYCSchools who's put us all in danger & still deciding to be here and teach every day, is so much to bear.

For now and the future, what will it finally take for me to leave teaching? Am I wrong for continuing to take and enable this abuse? 5/

Knowing I have the choice to leave teaching, I worry about survivor's guilt, that I didn't fight hard enough to make schools more equitable, that I couldn't "cut it" even tho the ed system has not given everyone the tools to be successful, and that is damn clear right now. 6/

I question my decision-making every day, whether I participate in in-person @NYCSchools which makes me complicit WHEN people get sick, or to stay a teacher. I carry all my stuff to/from work daily cuz I don't know when they'll finally close school buildings. Could be tomorrow. 7/

Teachers are not okay right now. I'm not okay. I'm hoping me naming the insecurity and the feeling of abuse at us will bring some clarity and fight some of this isolation I feel. Please check in with your teachers and send your appreciation. Now I hope for sleep. 8/8