I’m going to say it.

People are being put at risk by the way people with experience of mental health problems and attempted suicide are expected to tell their stories. There is pressure to have a neat ending. For people to be rescued by any help they had. To not need help again.

This isn’t me who is at risk, I don’t have a neat story to tell, but I’ve experienced the pressure. It’s real and it’s definitely there. And I see others experiencing it. Trying to help others by telling their stories. Giving so much, but then being let down when things go wrong.

People who have told a story of rescue and of being helped are left in danger themselves when they get unwell again. They’ve been platformed partly because of the neatness of the story (these stories are the ones in demand, and are sometimes explicitly requested).

When people who have been pressured in this way get unwell again, or face similar difficulties and consider suicide again, they’ve then been put in an impossible position. It’s incredibly hard to be more than the neat narrative imposed by expectation. There is huge shame.

No one intends to shame when they demand a neat narrative. People just want a tidy story. But the effect it creates is huge shame for the person if they need help again. I’ve seen people in this situation suffer alone, delay help, publicly apologise for needing it, and worse.

We need to move past this idea that we can expect neat stories about suicide and mental health problems. Stories of one time rescue and immediate cure don’t leave space for real people and their lives. We need to challenge those who want stories like this and ask for more reality

We also need to be there for people who have been pressured into telling stories like this. It can be incredibly hard to need help again when the platform you have been given is one of having been saved. It’s them who matter, the real version and not just the story.