sure they do. that's the problem. men who have previously been "good" are not immune from committing gendered sexual violence. in fact, men who think they are too good to do bad things are more likely to find justifications for their bad behaviour because they're "good" men. https://twitter.com/Raymartin55/status/1312551985216811009

if a good man wouldn't hurt a woman and a woman just tells you, a good man, that you've hurt her, you're more likely to dismiss her because you're a good man who doesn't hurt women, or to excuse your behaviour because you didn't intend to cause harm.

none of us are infallible. we're all capable of harming others. there are no good and bad people; there are people who recognise when they've done harm and genuinely commit to making things right, and people who don't.

I don't believe in original sin, but there is some utility in holding onto the idea that we are all innately capable of harming others. it keeps us vigilant and helps us hold ourselves accountable when we screw up.

I'm not saying we should all think of ourselves as monsters or that it's not possible to lead a mostly positive life. but I think that thinking of yourself as a "good" person is a step towards complacency. if you're already good, what will push you to do better and be better?

most people who harm other people don't think of themselves as bad. not many people think of themselves as bad. most harm is carried out by people who would call themselves good if you asked them. being a good person doesn't *mean* anything. doing good deeds does.

exactly! goodness, if you think it exists, is something active: the conscious decision to help people, not the passive decision not to inflict harm. https://twitter.com/diomadcat/status/1312635584456929280?s=19

I think it's very easy to passively decide not to do harm and much more difficult to actively decide to do good. the former requires that you merely accept certain value propositions and the latter involves reflecting those values in your actions in an intentional way.

to go back to the original tweet, I think most men today, if asked, wouldn't have a problem with the idea that all genders (or at least men and women) should be equal, or that gendered violence is bad. I think "rape and murder are wrong" is pretty uncontroversial.

but there's a difference between thinking sexual assault is bad and actively being the guy who challenges the rape joke, who gets his mates home safe after a big night, who *listens* when women say "this is hurting me" and instead of getting defensive, changes his behaviour.

I think it's very easy to believe good things and much harder to put those beliefs into practice, especially when there are often so few consequences for not acting and so many people willing to cheer you on just for believing.

and I think we *all* struggle with this - or at least I know I do - because believing in high ideals feels good but acting on those beliefs is often difficult and comes at some personal cost. admitting that it's hard isn't a moral failing; it's reality. it's something to face.

and when it comes to being good, or doing good, reality is something we have to reckon with and shying away from that doesn't help. if no good man ever harmed a woman, far fewer women would be harmed. you can't fix that without acknowledging that it's not that simple.