Read on Twitter
"I'm 16 and Marxist-Leninist!"
No, Sarah, you're a teenager from an upper-middle-class household who's trying to get some social clout online because you're bored and rebellious. Stop screwing around and do your chores.
No, Sarah, you're a teenager from an upper-middle-class household who's trying to get some social clout online because you're bored and rebellious. Stop screwing around and do your chores.
"My pronouns are fae/faer."
No they're not, and you have never corrected anybody when they used "she" or "her" to refer to you. You're just trying to feel unique and special because you lack the artistic talents that your peers have.
No they're not, and you have never corrected anybody when they used "she" or "her" to refer to you. You're just trying to feel unique and special because you lack the artistic talents that your peers have.
"I'm a learning MLM."
No, Jennifer, you watched a couple of Breadtube videos after quitting your job at the grocery store. You're not going to read State and Revolution, but you're probably going into a different MLM—multi-level marketing.
No, Jennifer, you watched a couple of Breadtube videos after quitting your job at the grocery store. You're not going to read State and Revolution, but you're probably going into a different MLM—multi-level marketing.
"Living on occupied land. #LandBack"
Yeah, Jason, and I'm sure that you're more than willing to give up your home and the land it sits on to the indigenous people of your area. In fact, you believe in it so much, you're packing your shit and leaving tomorrow!
...right?
Yeah, Jason, and I'm sure that you're more than willing to give up your home and the land it sits on to the indigenous people of your area. In fact, you believe in it so much, you're packing your shit and leaving tomorrow!
...right?
"Death to America. Burn it down!"
Uh huh. And what skills do you have beyond making hot takes on Twitter, Brian? You know, life skills? The kinds that you'll need in a post-capitalist, anarchist society.
Oh, you can make art? Well that's gonna be... useful?
Uh huh. And what skills do you have beyond making hot takes on Twitter, Brian? You know, life skills? The kinds that you'll need in a post-capitalist, anarchist society.
Oh, you can make art? Well that's gonna be... useful?
"We're all part of the TruCutes system!"
For the last time, Samantha, you don't have DID. No, claiming that it's OSDD isn't gonna fly. No, self-diagnosis isn't valid. You're just RPing with yourself. Be sociable, or just go outside for once.
For the last time, Samantha, you don't have DID. No, claiming that it's OSDD isn't gonna fly. No, self-diagnosis isn't valid. You're just RPing with yourself. Be sociable, or just go outside for once.
"Bi lesbian"
No, Anna, you're either bi or sapphic. I know we had that whole debate over whether or not bisexuality was being attracted to men and women, or being attracted to two genders seven years ago, but that doesn't mean you get to redefine what "lesbian" means, too. Stop.
No, Anna, you're either bi or sapphic. I know we had that whole debate over whether or not bisexuality was being attracted to men and women, or being attracted to two genders seven years ago, but that doesn't mean you get to redefine what "lesbian" means, too. Stop.
"Species dysphoric"
Holy shit, Kristin, you're still on that? It's been five years since the whole otherkin thing went out of vogue, why are you still clinging on to it? Was the headmates thing just not appealing to you?
I mean, props for keeping it going for so long, but geez…
Holy shit, Kristin, you're still on that? It's been five years since the whole otherkin thing went out of vogue, why are you still clinging on to it? Was the headmates thing just not appealing to you?
I mean, props for keeping it going for so long, but geez…
"Misandrist bathing in male tears"
After reading your tweets, Mindy, I don't think the problem is what you say it is, that all men are disrespectful. No, it's more that you don't really have much to respect.
After reading your tweets, Mindy, I don't think the problem is what you say it is, that all men are disrespectful. No, it's more that you don't really have much to respect.
"NoMap"
You're not fooling anyone, Steve. We all figured your shit out a long time ago. Knock off the shit, and return your therapist's calls.
Oh, and I swear to god, if I hear you've terrified more artists after trying to commission loli art, I'm gonna lose it.
You're not fooling anyone, Steve. We all figured your shit out a long time ago. Knock off the shit, and return your therapist's calls.
Oh, and I swear to god, if I hear you've terrified more artists after trying to commission loli art, I'm gonna lose it.
"nan0gender"
YOU KNOW THAT ONE WAS LITERALLY MADE UP TO TROLL PEOPLE, RIGHT?
YOU'RE AWARE THAT YOUR "RECLAIMING" IT MEANS THAT YOU FELL INTO THE EXACT TRAP IT WAS SETTING, RIGHT?
PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS POE'S LAW BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD
YOU KNOW THAT ONE WAS LITERALLY MADE UP TO TROLL PEOPLE, RIGHT?
YOU'RE AWARE THAT YOUR "RECLAIMING" IT MEANS THAT YOU FELL INTO THE EXACT TRAP IT WAS SETTING, RIGHT?
PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS POE'S LAW BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD
"I have strong opinions on the Oxford Comma"
Look, Gerald, I enjoy flaunting my English degree like you do, but you don't actually have strong opinions about a goddamn punctuation mark. Have you even used an interrobang before‽
Look, Gerald, I enjoy flaunting my English degree like you do, but you don't actually have strong opinions about a goddamn punctuation mark. Have you even used an interrobang before‽
"Retweets are not endorsements"
You uh... you sure about that, Harry?
I mean, you're not running for office, so what's the point in the disclaimer? You retweet something, it's assumed that you liked or agreed with the message. Are you trying to preemptively save your ass?
You uh... you sure about that, Harry?
I mean, you're not running for office, so what's the point in the disclaimer? You retweet something, it's assumed that you liked or agreed with the message. Are you trying to preemptively save your ass?
" #Resist"
Literally what the fuck are you doing to resist anything being done by the current administration?
You can't post memes and Occupy Democrats image macros and call that a "resistance." Get arrested for civil disobedience, then we'll talk.
Literally what the fuck are you doing to resist anything being done by the current administration?
You can't post memes and Occupy Democrats image macros and call that a "resistance." Get arrested for civil disobedience, then we'll talk.
" #MAGA #KAG"
Trump is not part of the Holy Trinity, please don't dedicate your entire account's existence to spreading that "Good News."
Also, stop commenting on every WaPo and NYT article calling them "fake news" without reading them, first.
Trump is not part of the Holy Trinity, please don't dedicate your entire account's existence to spreading that "Good News."
Also, stop commenting on every WaPo and NYT article calling them "fake news" without reading them, first.
"NeverTrump, NeverBiden"
Yeah, I hate the two-party system too, Dallas, but Bernie isn't gonna win. Neither is Howie. Neither is JoJo.
Just tweet out that George Carlin clip about voting one last time and shut the fuck up until the next general election.
Yeah, I hate the two-party system too, Dallas, but Bernie isn't gonna win. Neither is Howie. Neither is JoJo.
Just tweet out that George Carlin clip about voting one last time and shut the fuck up until the next general election.
"Unblock fee"
Melissa, I've seen some crazy ways to try and earn money in my time, but that's actually the craziest. You must be out of your goddamn mind.
And I'm blocking you back.
Melissa, I've seen some crazy ways to try and earn money in my time, but that's actually the craziest. You must be out of your goddamn mind.
And I'm blocking you back.
"I block all..."
Stop bragging about the ideological bubble you're cultivating for yourself, Jamie. You're not appealing to like-minded people, you're showing that your intellectual depth is the size of a puddle.
Stop bragging about the ideological bubble you're cultivating for yourself, Jamie. You're not appealing to like-minded people, you're showing that your intellectual depth is the size of a puddle.
"Moderate centrist"
You'd have a better time calling yourself a "contrarian fence-sitter," Christopher.
You'd have a better time calling yourself a "contrarian fence-sitter," Christopher.
"Bylines in..."
You could've just linked to your résumé, Mark. Seriously, save your bio the characters. I'm sure you'll be recognized for your reporting on the N. fowleri infection at the Whitewater Center one day.
You could've just linked to your résumé, Mark. Seriously, save your bio the characters. I'm sure you'll be recognized for your reporting on the N. fowleri infection at the Whitewater Center one day.
"Proudly blocked by..."
Karening in the real world wasn't enough for you, huh?
Karening in the real world wasn't enough for you, huh?
"Followed by..."
And the other end of the coin, Kevin thinks he's the most important person in the world because a celebrity follows him on Twitter... but never interacts with him.
Is it really a follow, Kevin? Is it?
And the other end of the coin, Kevin thinks he's the most important person in the world because a celebrity follows him on Twitter... but never interacts with him.
Is it really a follow, Kevin? Is it?
"Total conundrum"
I'm sure you are, Alex "The Hatman." Or maybe you're just saying that to try and appear to be more quirky and interesting than you actually are, when, in fact, most of your jokes are stolen and your takes are milquetoast at best.
But at least you have followers!
I'm sure you are, Alex "The Hatman." Or maybe you're just saying that to try and appear to be more quirky and interesting than you actually are, when, in fact, most of your jokes are stolen and your takes are milquetoast at best.
But at least you have followers!
That's all. I might do more tomorrow.
Go to sleep, y'all.
Go to sleep, y'all.
