hi!! here's a thread on iguro obanai's characterization and trauma—before i start, i'd like to say that i'm open to discussion and am aware that this may be a controversial opinion, but i would also like to bring my thoughts + some things to light ^^ thank you so much!!
!! SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA !!
also, tw and cw for the following: physical and mental abuse, being imprisoned, cults, blood, snakes, mouths being cut/altered. if any of these upset you, i hope you put yourself first and seek out support if you need. i love you!
also, tw and cw for the following: physical and mental abuse, being imprisoned, cults, blood, snakes, mouths being cut/altered. if any of these upset you, i hope you put yourself first and seek out support if you need. i love you!
let's begin with how obanai was introduced in the first place. it's with the pillars when tanjiro is put on trial for having nezuko along with him, who are also disapproving of this save for giyuu + shinobu. he's shown to blatantly help sanemi in his attempt to put them down.
from the start it's established that he absolutely despises demons, to the point that he isn't even listening to ubuyashiki + urokodaki's words. early on people would think that these are his ideals simply because he's a demon slayer, but it goes much deeper than that.
we don't see iguro appear again until he learns of rengoku's death, when he's alone save for his crow who delivers the news. we see all the other pillars either at a loss for words/praying for him and devastated, but we don't see iguro's facial expression at all. just his words.
the next time we see him, he's berating uzui for getting badly beaten up in the fight against daki and gyutaro; all these incidents involving him point towards him being a very cold and blunt person, especially towards his peers. however, there's one thing present in all these +
and it's that he's showing emotion.
he feels angry, because aren't they supposed to be eradicating demons? isn't that what they're fighting for? first someone who completely violates their rules, and now two of the strongest leaving.
he feels disbelief at rengoku passing away—
he feels angry, because aren't they supposed to be eradicating demons? isn't that what they're fighting for? first someone who completely violates their rules, and now two of the strongest leaving.
he feels disbelief at rengoku passing away—
but why? iguro, from what is shown of him, just wants to get the job done, right?
could it be he actually feels guilt, underneath his hard exterior? guilt, stemming all the way from how he was treated as a child and even after he escaped from his family.
could it be he actually feels guilt, underneath his hard exterior? guilt, stemming all the way from how he was treated as a child and even after he escaped from his family.
guilt. it's something that haunts him every day of his life. guilt at letting his family get killed because HE chose to live, despite knowing he did what he had to. guilt for even being born into such a cursed family that he loathes himself, and can only keep +
trying his best to become a machine, cleansing and filtering the blood that courses through him he so thinks of as "impure" by saving people. at least a little bit of good grows in him, he thinks, despite what weighs in his heart and mind.
guilt at STILL not being good enough +
guilt at STILL not being good enough +
to fill in the vacant spaces in the pillars for those who have left, retired or dead or anything like that. iguro obanai is angry, at himself, at demons, at his family, and because despite how he builds himself up he still feels fear at women.
despite knowing that he's long gone from that horrible, monstrous place filled with his family—all composed of women, might i add—he still can't manage to rid himself completely of what they made him feel.
just a sacrifice who should have stayed quiet. just someone who should +
just a sacrifice who should have stayed quiet. just someone who should +
lay down his life in order for others to survive. just someone who murdered fifty people because he put himself first.
some could argue that despite putting him in a cage, his family still fed him and treated him with affection.
but these speak for themselves.
some could argue that despite putting him in a cage, his family still fed him and treated him with affection.
but these speak for themselves.
they cut his mouth because of the snake demon's wishes, then stored his blood to offer. they locked him in a cage ever since he was born simply because he was the first male born in hundreds of years. they quite literally treated him as nothing more than a mere sacrifice to +
save themselves. the thought of how he felt and that he could have a future never once crossed their minds. and when he actually escaped because he didn't want to die? they screamed at him that he was a murderer, that he didn't deserve to live, that he was nothing.
those words alone are enough to scar someone for their entire lives, not counting the other things they've done to him, a literal child. he's able to register that there is no reason behind their abuse. but it doesn't change the fact that they strike him.
...this is coming from someone who has been through many cases of verbal/emotional abuse.
it doesn't leave you. at least not for years, and even then, it's hard to get through each day without your mind throwing them back at you when you're reminded of how you messed up +
it doesn't leave you. at least not for years, and even then, it's hard to get through each day without your mind throwing them back at you when you're reminded of how you messed up +
and what you did wrong. your mind goes to all the worst case scenarios in less than a split second and something just rises in you, something that you just want to shed, but is always lingering somehow.
it doesn't matter if you KNOW you're not with those people anymore +
it doesn't matter if you KNOW you're not with those people anymore +
because all you can think of is how THEY treated you. why they did in the first place. and no matter how good you're doing, you begin to break.
it isn't easy. it's hell. people who have gone through things like this are STRONG especially for just acknowledging that what +
it isn't easy. it's hell. people who have gone through things like this are STRONG especially for just acknowledging that what +
happened was not your fault and that you were just putting yourself first. and what makes those people even stronger is if they decide to keep fighting, keep going despite how the past would never really leave them.
finding ways to move forward.
finding ways to move forward.
circling back to iguro, this seems to be the case for him, too. although he's doing his best to move forward and become a better person in his own ways—evident in how he tried to uphold the structure of the corps, despite the many obstacles—it doesn't change the fact that +
he still regards himself lowly because of his upbringing and everything else that has happened.
look at the picture above, please. look at his words. i am begging you as a victim of emotional abuse because this is what it's like for us.
look at the picture above, please. look at his words. i am begging you as a victim of emotional abuse because this is what it's like for us.
it's scary.
it's overwhelming, and that's an understatement.
it's painful.
it feels hopeless at times, honestly.
and it's very, very hard to trust others and open your heart to people once more, even if they aren't your abusers themselves.
it's overwhelming, and that's an understatement.
it's painful.
it feels hopeless at times, honestly.
and it's very, very hard to trust others and open your heart to people once more, even if they aren't your abusers themselves.
...you can't blame iguro obanai for feeling fear and even a bit of resentment towards women. i'm really sorry, but you just can't.
i agree that the extra gotouge-sensei put out regarding all this could have been worded better, but again, this thread is for taking a closer +
i agree that the extra gotouge-sensei put out regarding all this could have been worded better, but again, this thread is for taking a closer +
look at his characterization and trauma throughout the manga. i also agree that it can also make it look like he's simply putting mitsuri up on a pedestal, basically mitsuri > women, but,, let's delve into his and mitsuri's relationship, shall we? after all, she's the one +
who changed his perspective on things and gave him hope again, albeit it isn't enough to make him stop degrading himself.
but you see, that's how it is in real life, too. i won't deny that others such as friends, lovers, or just people who treat you right can help you recover +
but you see, that's how it is in real life, too. i won't deny that others such as friends, lovers, or just people who treat you right can help you recover +
and regain your self-esteem, or build it. asking for help and reaching out are all colossal steps forward honestly, especially when you've been conditioned to think of it as a sign of weakness.
but... it's the same with mental illness. you can't love it away for someone else.
but... it's the same with mental illness. you can't love it away for someone else.
you can't love it away for someone else, but you can be with them as they fix themselves and help support them while they do it.
a little bit of kindness can go such a long way and even save someone—even if you don't think it will. look at how obanai regards their first meeting.
a little bit of kindness can go such a long way and even save someone—even if you don't think it will. look at how obanai regards their first meeting.
wait aaaa actually im not feeling too good ww ill continue this thread later!!!! im sorry,, i promise ill actually do it later i think i just need some time alone for a while,, hope u guys understand