Welcome to the daily Bartika Rai thread that no one asked for. Today I will discuss “which fuckboy is Bartika singing about?” – a thread.

Nishan: Gets his memes/ideas on masculinity from Indian meme pages. Kabir singh type vibe, “fluent in sarcasm” on his profile. Usually goes “maya gardainau? teso bhaye garna deu na”.

Aashish: Slightly more hip, plays some musical instrument so lures the ladies in that way. You wouldn’t see the red flags if it were served to you in a chares ko thaal. Asks you for nudes on snapchat and SSes them “as a joke k hyaaa”.

Shusant: Angrezi ma ellai one-upper bhanincha. Timro B aayo? Mero ta A. Timro euta liver cha? Mero ta duita. You’ll never be able to keep up, he’ll always bring you down. Gatekeeper, asks you to name Arteta’s driver if you claim to be an Arsenal fan.

Saksham: Classic mutko nyaano. He’ll treat you like a princess until you give in and start dating. Two weeks in, he’s bored after the chase and hits on your Rekha aunty. Constantly talking about about how Jordan Peterson is just misunderstood.

Abhishek: needs a woman to rely on. Was his mom, now it is 10 ladies. Posts “woke” memes on fb, hardcore “feminist”, is the shoulder for all your girlfriends to cry on. He can’t be alone, but you will be.

Rahul: says I love you the moment he sees you. Gives you cringy nicknames like bepy and saanu. Doesn’t realize he has a p*rn addiction. Asks you for all your SM passwords and asks your cousin to fight him for hitting on you when they wish you on your bday.

Prashant/Prashanna: You wouldn’t guess that he’s a fuckboi. He excels in academics, is a school prefect, all around nice guy. But you get serious and he lets his mom walk all over you.

Aayush: Obsessed with himself. Doesn’t ask you if you’re free, just tells you y’all are hanging out on Friday. And when you get ready for the date, you see he’s posted a selfie at LOD with another lady. Hot, mysterious, and enticing, but he'll never acknowledge you fully.

Tirimiri: all around nice guy, greek god, yet ladies date him for 6 months, leave him, and write heart wrenching songs about him. Not a fuckbwai, severely misunderstood.