None of this would’ve happened had we all just been nicer to Macklemore.

All that poor boy ever wanted to do was make songs about queer stuff and encourage us to step away from capitalist consumerism and instead buy secondhand wares from charitable organizations and what did we do?? We laughed him out of town.

We lost a generation of adequate white boys to our anti-Macklemore hubris and now all we have left are the dregs of caucacity.

And yeah. Sure. I’ll delete these tweets in a couple of minutes. But I will go to my grave fully believing this horrible take.