Read on Twitter
For the past couple of years, I’ve felt a constant “cloudiness” in my brain. I would wake up feeling “foggy” all the time but always just thought it was part of being an adult, whatever that meant.
No matter how many hours of sleep, it was never enough. I felt my social anxiety rising nonstop and like I was always behind at work and in my personal life. I also started feeling this nervous energy going outside - walking the dog or grocery shopping took so much mental energy.
All I wanted to do was to sleep and watch tv. I have always been easy to laugh but I would only feel an ounce of that joy. And while therapy has helped a great deal, I still had this constant fogginess. 2020 obvi didn’t help either.
So after talking about it with my therapist, my doctor, and some friends who have taken antidepressants, I decided to see if it would do anything. This is my experience of being on antidepressants and I hope it helps anyone else who’s considering going on them:
First couple of days: constantly waking up in the middle of the night which has never happened. I am the deepest sleeper and waking up every couple of hours was new territory. However, I would wake up about an hour or two earlier than usual and not groggy.
First week: loss of appetite is v real. I felt a constant tingliness on my body. It probably wasn’t helpful with the amount of cold brew I was drinking every day too.
Second week: appetite is back but barely. Waking up every couple of hours is gone but I have been getting tired earlier (usually around 10-11pm instead of my usual 1-2am). Still waking up around 7-8am without any hesitation or feelings of exhaustion.
Day 15: Waking up and walking the dog has felt light and easy. Like NBD. Didn’t need a second thought. I feel capable and small tasks don’t feel insurmountable.
Day 17: I’ve always read that retail therapy is real when it comes to depression and I definitely was using online shopping as a crutch. I haven’t really felt like I needed anything. Small but feels like a big difference.
Day 19: I can’t believe I didn’t go on this sooner. I feel as if my brain has calmed down by a lot and so many racing thoughts now feel like they’re at a steady pace.
Week 3: Ok my bladder is in overdrive and I can’t stop peeing.
Day 23: noticing that my feet are sweaty??? Didn’t know that was possible or even a side effect???
Day 25: not enough Zoloft for this debate.
Week 4: I’m going to bed earlier and earlier last night I felt sleepy at 930pm wtf???
Day 29: The fear I was feeling about going outside is pretty much nonexistent. The mental hurdles I used to have to jump over to do something are barely visible.
