Story time from the book:

Something happened yesterday that used to happen in the book all the time...

Over the years, there have been many people who are experts hanging out in the book...

You know the guy..he knows who is going to win, who is going to score, whether...

the total is going over or not, or even who is going to win the championship in six months...

I’ve said it for years...the money is the measuring stick, but making a bet is about being right...

Whether it’s the oddsmaker’s number or the bettor making the play, it is the...

chest out, I told you so that many people look for every day...

There are no shortage of these guys in the book..they are especially loud after the game too..

I call them the 20/20 club, cause you know “Hindsight is always 20/20”

Horse tracks have the guys selling tip sheets..

(Or they used to back in the day), and there is a plethora of them in the books...

Face buried in the form, lines through names, circles on numbers, they all have their thing..

Then it comes..,

“ I gotta tip on a horse”

Oh shit...here we go...

Now, I LOVE stories, but...

I think I love good storytellers more...

The information is one thing, but if you tell it in a good way, I am all in...

Horse players are good characters, and the track is a movie set..Let it Ride is one of the best gambling movies ever...

We saw it in the book daily...

On the regular, a guy named Spider would say “the 6 in the 5th at Aqueduct can’t lose.”

Ok...why not?

The shit that would come out of his mouth at that moment was incredible. I don’t know if it was true or not (No is the favorite), but it sounded good..

Was it good enough...

to bet? That was for each his own to determine...

You know what was a fun one to bet though?

The “name” play...

For those of you not familiar, every horse in every race has a name...

Some are clever, some are not, but like all of us, they all have one...

When the regulars..

or the morning writer like Ryan the Rake or Nicky the Blade went through the Form, they would come up with a gem...

It happened yesterday, this time with a group text...

“8th at Keeneland, the 11, 30-1 shot, Mo Dont No...I’m using him”

Oh shit...Instantly, I am brought back...

to the day in the book with the boys when we would all get the “name play”...

I would hype the shit all day...I told anyone who would listen...the crescendo built, and you had to be a part of it...

I texted back in the group “I am considering actually getting in the car to...

go bet this thing...but I don’t want to maloik it.”

For my non-Italian followers, Nonny Consig taught me years ago about the maloik and its power...

“Don’t a putta the maloik on it” she used to say, God rest her soul...

But Nonny, it’s opening day at Keeneland and it’s 30-1...

The phone buzzes...first response from Mo himself...

“I am betting it. Has to be done.”

Next one comes.

“I’m in.”

The horse guy who told us says “don’t mush it.”

Like you can mush a 30-1 shot! Wtf? You mush a 3/5 chalk, you miss out on a 30-1..

At this point, you are...

thinking what I am thinking...

I can’t be the only jagoff not on this thing if it hits...

The next text comes “I am in an OTB in Scottsdale” with a pic...

I am home with the Consig kids...the hype is real...

I send a text “I am considering going to the Fe to bet this thing...

right now”

All the memories of all the “name plays” come back..

I go downstairs. Middle Consig is on lunch from school. She knows and sees everything that goes on in the ocean of estrogen I call my domicile.

As I grab my keys, she goes “Daddy, where you going?”

Pause...

“I’m going to the Fe. I’ll be right back.”

D.A. Consig kicks in. Mrs Consig would be proud. “What are you going there for, right now?”

“I am going to bet a horse.”

“Daddy, seriously??? You only bet on sports. You never bet horses. Why are you betting a horse?”

Looking...

to my left, then my right, there is no judge to ask for a recess...

“The guys texted me. There is a horse in the 8th at Keeneland. His name is Mo Dont No. He is 30-1. I have to bet it. We say that all the time to him on the podcast. It’s funny. And I don’t want to not have it...

if it comes in...“

Man, she stared at me like Tom Cruise stared at Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men...

Seconds that seemed like minutes passed...I felt the beads of sweat on my forehead...she broke the silence...

“You like the horse?”

Nod.

“You win 30 times the money...

you bet?”

Yes.

“And you are going to drive to
Fe, bet it and come right back?”

Absolutely.

“Hold on, don’t move” and she sprinted up the stairs.

Up and down in 30 seconds, she goes, “Here’s $5. I can’t let you be the only jagoff who hits it. Just come right back please...“

A tear came to my eye, we did our handshake and off I went..

Feeling pumped up after cashing an 8/1 Lightning ticket to win the Cup earlier in the week, let alone the stroke recovery, I am feeling good as I let the boys know that indeed, I am on it...

I grabbed a sheet...

got in line and made my way to the window...

Bets in hand, back home I go...

The texts continue..,

“We are all doomed. The horse will be lucky to get out of the gate.”

“We are all nuts.”

“Just one time.”

As I walk back into the house, my daughter with action is out...

napping after a “hard day at school”

Post time comes...

You know what happens...

I didn’t watch it, but the texts tell the story...

“How did it come?”

“4-7-3. No good. Nothing down the stretch.”

“It was entertaining.”

You know that, I know that, but the Consig kid wants...

answers when she wakes up...

“Daddy, did we win the horse race thing?”

Nope.

“Was it close?”

Nope.

“How much did you bet?”

Little more than you. It’s ok.

“Good thing I only gave you five bucks.”

Yep.

“Well, I told you that you never bet horses. I ain’t ever...

doin that shit again.”

Another tear came to my eye.

Maybe Mo DOES KNOW. And it only cost her a fin.

What’s the line from White Men Can’t Jump?

Sometimes, when you win, you really lose. And sometimes, when you lose, you really win.

As she would say, “Takin Dubs Bruh”