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The Islamic perspective on this which applies to all Muslims (regardless of ethnicity) is this:
A husband has to be able to accommodate/provide for his wife in all aspects: physically, emotionally, mentally, financially etc https://twitter.com/aksjkjk/status/1312130051941396481
A husband has to be able to accommodate/provide for his wife in all aspects: physically, emotionally, mentally, financially etc https://twitter.com/aksjkjk/status/1312130051941396481
and if he is unable to do so then some may ask why’d he get married if he’s unable to fulfil the duties of a husband?
Allah swt enjoined a husband to provide accommodation for his wife. Allah swt Says (what means): {Lodge them [in a section] of where you dwell out of your means and do not harm them in order to oppress them. …} [Quran 65: 6]
It is the absolute right of a wife on her husband to provide her with a separate house without having to share it with other family members. However, if a house is big enough in a way that a separate portion of it could be allotted to the wife without having to share with other
family members, then she has no right to demand a separate house for her since, in this case, the purpose of an independent house is achieved.
This is the opinion of the majority of the Muslim scholars and it is the correct one.
This is the opinion of the majority of the Muslim scholars and it is the correct one.
However, some scholars are of the opinion that a wife has the right to demand a separate house for herself without sharing with any other person unless she and her husband agree otherwise; but the first opinion is more preponderant.
In general, such an accommodation often prevents the occurrence of problems between the wife and her in-laws & provides privacy for intimacy for the couple which must be fulfilled in an environment the wife is comfortable in (imagine facing your parents/in-laws in the morning
)
)
In any case, your husband is obliged to provide you with a separate accommodation and he may buy or rent an accommodation that is near his family so that he may visit them or ask about them very often if he’s wanting to take care of them.
However, a wife should keep in mind that it is better for her now and in the future to be kind to her husband, to be lenient with him in the matter of maintenance, and avoid over-burdening him. Also she should not force him to be harsh with his parents.
His duty to his parents come first but should be realistic about the responsibility of looking after them if he has siblings that can do the same. He needs to learn to balance the responsibilities between his wife and his parents to keep both happy, and should learn to compromise
A dutiful wife would be mindful and considerate of these things. She should try and be patient when necessary (such as not getting upset over something small and demanding to move) and should also be realistic about his situations and responsibilities.
Separate living is also better for the following reasons: The Prophet (pbuh) warned against the husband’s relatives who are not mahrams to the wife entering upon her. It was reported from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir that the Messenger of Allaah (pbuh) said: “Beware of entering upon women.”
A man from among the Ansaar said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law?” he said: “The brother-in-law is death.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172).
It is not permissible for her to be alone with any of her in-laws except those who are so young that
It is not permissible for her to be alone with any of her in-laws except those who are so young that
there is no fear that they will tempt her or be tempted by her.
Ibn Hazam (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
He has to provide her with accommodation according to his means, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
Ibn Hazam (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
He has to provide her with accommodation according to his means, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means” [al-Talaaq 65:6]
(al-Muhallaa, 9/253).
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
She (the wife) is entitled to accommodation because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
(al-Muhallaa, 9/253).
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
She (the wife) is entitled to accommodation because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Lodge them …” [al-Talaaq 65:6]
If it is obligatory to provide lodgings for a divorced wife, then it is even more appropriate that lodgings should be provided for one who is still married. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
If it is obligatory to provide lodgings for a divorced wife, then it is even more appropriate that lodgings should be provided for one who is still married. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“… and live with them honourably…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19]. Part of that means providing them with accommodation, because she cannot do without proper accommodation to conceal her from people’s eyes & so that she may go about her business, relax & her keep her belongings in order.
It upon the husband to not leave his wife in the company of non mahrams in the household and to make sure she is comfortable.
If the husband wants to take care of his parents, he’s well within his rights to do so but he has to make sure his wife is accommodated for first. Living separately should not stop him from being a dutiful son to his parents and a wife should not prevent that.
