Post your wildest Trump/COVID predictions in the replies below. I'll get the ball rolling with a few. If any of these come true the poster gets eternal Twitter fame.
Trump dies from the 'rona. Barron Trump, now 12 feet tall, begins epic quest to avenge father. Travels to Beijing on raft with spear and axe vowing to bring back the head of Xi Jinping and sully his ancestors' graves.
Trump survives, but Melania and Biden succumb to the virus. Trump debates Kamala Harris and both mutually feel a reciprocal spark. Trump and Harris join forces and establish 1,000 Year One-Drop Dynasty.
Trump makes speedy recovfefe and orders Fox to cancel The Simpsons with immediate effect.
Sensing imminent demise, Trump commissions top Silicon Valley engineers to download consciousness into Twitter. His physical shell perishes, but his Lawnmower Man style Presidency continues through 280-character proclamations. National laws are issued through memes.
Mike Pence becomes last man standing and assumes Presidency. 50 years later declassified CIA documents reveal he was mastermind of infecting Trump and Biden so that he could become most powerful man in the world and thus finally be alone in a room with a woman.
Coronavirus spreads throughout entire Republican and Democrat apparatus completely decimating both parties. Britain reclaims rule over the thirteen colonies in emergency measure while Canada takes Washington State in world's gayest invasion.
Trump digests "insane" amounts of hydroxychloroquine to defeat virus, becomes powerful walking human vaccine against malaria. WHO flies Trump to sub-Saharan Africa where he promptly rids entire continent of disease; subsequently crowned King of Zulu Nation.
New medical procedures to save Trump's life mutates him into an Akira style protoplasmic gestalt entity. Terrifying Trump blob consumes entire DNC and is last seen approaching Southern border.
Andrew Yang makes secret deal with Trump to save his life with vaccine provided by his secret Chinese masters in exchange for giving everyone $1,000 a month and tanking the US economy. Certain sections of right-wing twitter jubilant.
You can follow @moldbugman.
Tip: mention @twtextapp on a Twitter thread with the keyword “unroll” to get a link to it.

Latest Threads Unrolled: