People discussing mcd, now I wanna read more depictions of SQQ's death... But SQQ loses his memory after the soul transplant, wandering as an aimless cultivator for the rest of his life while Binghe mourns him for centuries, razing the rest of the world to the ground.

I crave that BE. SQQ only remembers 黄 Huang from Cucumber, calling himself that as he settles down remotely somewhere to protect a village he's taken up residence in. He hears remotely about the terror the two realms are in, and hopes destruction won't come to their doorstep.

People don't dare to speak LBH's name out loud from fear. It may only be a matter of time before their little village is subjugated too, and SQQ knows w his being the only cultivator there they stand no chance and may just have to pledge fealty to whoever this Demon Lord is.

The day the demons come, they absolutely devastate the village despite SQQ's best efforts—there are too many of them. They lay waste to the area and claim the territory, the remaining survivors are allowed to live if the wounded cultivator is surrendered to their Junshang.

A dark, demonic blade has eroded the mind of the Demon Lord, they say, so cultivators are often captured and drained for their qi to mitigate its effects. SQQ obeys, leaving the little cottage w its small bamboo grove he grew in the garden behind him.

What follows is an explosion of fury from the conqueror Demon Lord the likes of which the cultivation world has never experienced, as he makes them ALL pay—all the demons who ravaged the village and who brought SQQ before Junshang are punished, sentenced to torture and death.

SQQ doesn't understand the cruelty. All this, all from a single glance at him the moment he was brought before that imposing figure, with the most cutting gaze of deepest frost he's ever seen. He's imprisoned until this Luo Binghe himself visits his cell after a few weeks.

SQQ is slammed against the wall & interrogated as LBH snarls at him, accusing him of being a spy or someone from a faction of demons who've formed a resistance against his empire, threatening to kill him if he doesn't reveal who sent him. He has no answers for this deranged man.

He has no memory of who he was before he woke up in the soil that day. Try as he might, he can't recall anything from his past. The Demon Lord won't leave him alone, he invades SQQ's dreams to rage and vent and turn everything inside out, angry when he finds nothing. Nothing!

He's obsessed with SQQ, who hasn't the foggiest idea why. At least until he's brought to LBH's chambers one day as Junshang is qi deviating, requiring an urgent infusion—and he sees a perfectly preserved corpse in the Demon Lord's bed, wearing a face eerily similar to his own.

"Why," LBH chokes out, eyes flashing scarlet like his demon mark as he presses his hand to SQQ's throat. "Who are you? You're not him—" he makes a strangled, whimpering sound from the pain, clutching his chest. Deja vu washes over SQQ—they've been here before, haven't they?

Despite everything in the past few months of his captivity, in this moment, SQQ feels no fear. Something draws him to pat this man's head, to stroke his hair. The madness in those red eyes ebbs as Luo Binghe looks up in shock while SQQ murmurs, "You're in pain, aren't you?"

He pulls LBH to him, placing a hand over his chest as he transfers qi to him, letting the harsh and ragged breathing of the wounded man ease as he turns his head into the crook of SQQ's neck, shaking while SQQ pets him during the transfusion. "That's it, stay still. You're hurt."

SQQ is reminded of a time he once saved a wounded puppy in the village, a feral little thing who had bitten him and growled even as he tried to apply medicine to the injuries, glaring at him with fearful eyes as it tried to push him away. Luo Binghe is wary, even now.

He stops after a while, still petting LBH's head. "This..." He begins, wondering why he nearly said "为师 This master", and says instead, "This subject will take his leave, if nothing else is—"

But his wrist is grabbed as he's yanked and pulled forward as LBH kisses him.

Okay, have fun meanwhile, you masochists, I need to run errands so I'll continue this thread later.

Hope y'all remember this is a Bad Ending, not Happy Ending, and that some dubcon is imminent because that's my brand.

If you're still OK with that (bc I seriously didn't expect this to blow up!) then read on, else it's probably best you click away!

It's brutal and rough, the hand in his hair and the teeth tugging at his bottom lip. SQQ makes a muffled sound of surprise that's promptly swallowed down as LBH covers his mouth with his own.

"My lord—" he begins, panting, between breaths.

"Binghe." LBH growls.

"What?"

"Call me Binghe."

He barely has time to register anything else as lips drag over his skin and large, strong hands slip between his robes. SQQ should protest, but his eyes roll back in his head as a mouth latches onto his neck and he lets out a moan.

It all happens so fast.

SQQ hasn't taken many lovers in the last few centuries when he traveled, only occasionally visiting the odd brothel or two.

Sometimes he lies with women, sometimes with sweet young men with smiles like summer that make his heart clench in distant longing for reasons unknown.

Even as he's being pinned down by strong arms, SQQ still feels no fear as he looks up at dark, delirious eyes. Seeing this man hurt causes him pain.

He echoes the words Luo Binghe asked him. "Who are you?" He asks, cupping his face. "And why do I feel like I know you?"

LBH doesn't answer him, his demonic qi roiling as it undoes SQQ's work from the last few shichen. He rips off the rest of SQQ's dark robes from his body, painting wet paths down his chest, to his hips.

SQQ arches his back from the pleasure of it, fingers fisting in LBH's hair.

Well, if regular transfusion didn't work... dual cultivation is an option. SQQ cants his hips up as LBH mouths up his thighs, shuddering as he crosses his legs behind LBH's neck.

He reaches out for LBH's hand, only to have his own palm caught in a tight, vicelike grip, almost

as if LBH is afraid he'll disappear if he lets go.

The man is not in the right frame of mind, but he'll need this in order to settle the qi deviation.

SQQ keeps his voice low, tries to soothe him, hissing from how good it feels when LBH greedily takes him into his mouth.

"Shizun," LBH pants into his neck as he works him open with some of the medicinal unguent from the side of his bed. "Shizun, I've missed you, I need you, Shizun—"

SQQ's heart breaks for him, feeling his eyes grow hot, and not just from the pain as LBH first pushes inside.

He's fucked and been fucked by men, but this is the first time he's had to deal with someone of this size.

It hurts, especially with the inadequate preparation, and he finds himself clinging onto LBH, wrapping his legs tightly around his waist to hold on.

LBH is relentless,

pounding into him fast and unforgiving. SQQ's mind blanks; all he hears are the sounds of his head hitting the headboard, the frame rattling under LBH's grip and the unceasing litany of "Shizun, Shizun" moaned into his skin.

On a whim, SQQ pulls LBH down and kisses him.

"Calm down," he says against LBH's mouth, lets his qi flow through where they're joined. Feels the dark energy of the demonic qi lick at him, growling. SQQ diverts it, channels his own powerful qi instead into LBH's body.

"Don't let it overpower your mind." He pauses. "Binghe."

LBH's movements stop briefly, before he cups SQQ's face, disbelief flitting across his own. "Shizun?"

Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut. SQQ turns to mouth at LBH's palm, closing his eyes. "Focus," he says instead.

When LBH comes inside him, SQQ has stabilised enough of

his qi, holding him tight as he falls apart and collapses on top of SQQ. He's heavy, SQQ thinks, sighing, before absently reaching out to pet his head.

Ah?

Why did he do that?

Still, it feels good, anyway. So he continues stroking LBH's hair. "Do you feel better? My lord."

LBH is still panting harshly on top of him, catching his breath. There's a noise that sounds suspiciously like a whimper. When he slips out of SQQ, he pulls him close, his larger frame bracketing his as he tucks his face into SQQ's neck.

SQQ feels wetness on his skin.

They don't say anything, huddled together, while SQQ strokes LBH's hair. It's odd, he thinks. He's lived 100s of years, traveling in search of something, not understanding the emptiness in his heart. He thought he found it in the village, but it's nothing compared to the fullness

he feels now in the arms of this stranger, with whom he feels this impossible gravitation.

Who is he, really?

Who is this Luo Binghe?

They fall asleep in a mess of sticky, sweaty limbs as the moonlight begins to stream in, providing no answers to SQQ's quiet questions.

SQQ is startled awake by a loud crash.

When he stirs, he's alone. Disorientated, he sits up, barely making out the figure in the dark sweeping things off the desk and sending them clattering to the floor.

"What...?" He begins, only to see two twin red flashes in the dark.

It's LBH, who steps back from him, expression hidden and twisted. "You," he bites out, impossibly cold, pulling his dark robes back over himself as he glares daggers at SQQ, brows furrowed. "What did you do?"

SQQ huffs, feeling indignant now. He DID help him! "I saved you, is

what I did. You were having a qi deviation."

"No," LBH says, to himself, looking down at his hands, and back at SQQ's naked body on the bed. "No, I... no, no, no—"

It makes SQQ feel offended, somehow. Sure, he hasn't had that much experience, but it wasn't that bad, was it?

LBH grips the edge of a table, one hand covering his face as his eyes glow a mad, ominous red like his demon mark. "Shizun," he whispers, "I shouldn't have, Shizun, I'm sorry, forgive me—"

SQQ swings his legs over the edge of the bed, alert. A relapse?

He walks over to LBH, wrapping a thin sheet around himself, reaching out to touch a trembling shoulder.

His hand is smacked away as LBH scrambles and steps back away from him. "Don't touch me," LBH snarls, his face crumpling as he begins to weep. "You're not him, you're not—"

"My lord, you're qi deviating again," SQQ says gently, but he doesn't move, keeping his voice low as though he's calming a wild wolf. "If you don't get it under control, you'll—"

LBH curls in on himself, dark tendrils of demonic qi unfurling from around his body, eyes glowing.

"Binghe?" SQQ ventures.

It's the wrong thing to say.

"Get out!" LBH rages, knocking over the table and the stools. "Leave my chambers!"

"Junshang?!" Some demons cry out from outside, muffled and alarmed. "Is everything okay—"

"Remove this man from my sight!"

Bewildered, SQQ can only watch helplessly as the demons scurry in, swiftly sweeping up his clothes and tugging at SQQ's arm to leave with them. "Come on, xianjun. You need to leave. When the lord gets like this..."

SQQ wraps the sheet tighter around himself, taking his clothes

and looking back over his shoulder at LBH as he falls onto all fours on the ground, punching the floor while the room fills ominously with dark and red qi.

He's weeping.

SQQ's insides twist with guilt, although he does not know the reason. "Why is he this way.." he trails off.

The demon shakes his head, turning a corner and showing SQQ to his cell. "It's been many long years. Junshang lost someone very dear to him, and he has never recovered. His power grows, but with it, his madness."

He locks the door behind him, reminding SQQ he's a prisoner.

SQQ sits down on the floor, holding up his palm, remember how LBH had looked like when he'd stroked his hair.

He shouldn't feel sorry for a ruthless, blackened conqueror who had destroyed his home and devastated the world. And yet...

LBH's stricken face flashes in his mind.