Thread by @SamNChiet, Gonna make a game console, and a 90s style message bulletin board [...]

Gonna make a game console, and a 90s style message bulletin board and zines for 12-17 year old modders like in the Klik n' Play days - but the way we remember it and with less arguing and homogeniety

Gonna start making VR games, but exclusively for the Nintendo Labo

Gonna systematically re-implement every garish tasteless customization from Windows 95 until your computers are full of skeletons

Gonna pivot every video game I make to a papercraft cardboard cutout tabletop version with soft tiny felt characters

I am deleting Online and giving every taxpayer a carrier pigeon

You have to blow into your phone microphone to clean your apps before you open them

Gonna pass international legislation mandating all big buttons go "KA-CHUNK" just like that satisfyingly

Gonna make a VR headset that functions exclusively on the Nintendo Wii

Gonna bring back the Kinect

Gonna replace ALL facial recognition with facial NON-recogition, so it asks wait are you Alyx?? and oh my gosh it's been so long, you're so grown up now and HANDSOME, how have you been??

Club Penguin Coins are now the globally unifying cryptocurrency

A Wizard101 Membership subscription is a legal substitute for healthcare

Gonna make an MMO character creator that starts off by asking "how are you doing today"

Gonna make an open-world game where the main mechanic is 'vibing'

Gonna start a venture capital fund with no conditions, to exclusively fund terrible ideas with no negative impact

Gonna replace the stupid 'volume up' and 'volume down' buttons with a fat analog volume knob

Gonna make a phone where unplugging the charger halfway at an angle keeping half the pins touching makes crazy wild aesthetic glitches like game cartridges

The Nintendo DS but with motion controls

Gonna use Joy-Con sensors to make smashing controllers into your wall a core game mechanic

Gonna do the same thing I just said above but with the accelerometer in your phone

Gonna make a washing machine but for this person's cat https://twitter.com/TheOnlyCrate/status/1312129891425345536?s=20

https://twitter.com/TheOnlyCrate/status/1312129891425345536?s=20

Gonna build one of those drive-through car washes but you just stand on a platform and it moves you through

You re-emerge on the other side, clean, pure once more

Gonna do the same as above but with Holy water, revolutionizing baptisms

All cars can fly if you build up enough speed and have a steep enough on-ramp

Gonna build every next-gen console with the Net Yaroze/OUYA/Xbox thing where every retail unit is a devkit, enabling terrible games that mean things to the people who make them

Gonna build a WebRTC videochat into Disney's Toontown and sell it to schools as a replacement for Zoom

Gonna buy an apartment complex and retrofit it with a complex series of buckets-on-pulleys through every unit, for passing love notes and baking supplies between neighbors

Gonna validate the first person to reply to this tweet

Gonna start a fashion line for men that's about having fun with color for once in your goddamn life
because you're worth it
NOT JUST HAWAIIAN SHIRTS.

Gonna buy out a giant building-size advertisement, to print a big-ass QR code that leads everyone who scans it to

youtube. com/watch?v=YddwkMJG1Jo

Gonna do the same as above but with my Animal Crossing friend code

Gonna make it so if you shake your phone, all your apps get nauseous and you have to cradle them to feeling better before you an open them

Gonna embrace typos instead of fruitlessly advocating for an 'edit' button

Gonna eliminate online advertising and relentlessly track all of your behavior online for the sole purpose of training AI Gundam instead

Gonna invent a tumble-dryer, but for your thinky organs
Fabric softener for your brain
so smooth

This will be offered at as a DIRECT competitor to Elon Musk's dumb baby Neuralink project at an ~attractive~ price..

Gonna make an FL Studio bundle that actually comes with a box of Fruit Loops like I was fucking promised

Gonna start a grocery chain called Traitor Joe's: the world's only one-stop-shop for suburban white people to both eat and commit acts of sedition

Gonna start a 24/7 livestream called Twitch Takes Care Of Plants

Gonna force Webster to change "Undo" to "ZUndo" so the keyboard shortcut makes literally any sense

Gonna take a wild guess and say none of you know where this is about to go.

Never Gonna Give You Up

Never Gonna Let You Down

Never Gonna Run Around

And "Dessert" you https://twitter.com/SamNChiet/status/1312140762847436800?s=20