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I don’t remember “twilight” I remember it pissed me off.... should I love tweet my feelings about this bullshit while I’m watching...? I’m two minutes in and have rolled my eyes like three times.
Taylor Lautner’s wig tho............. THAT. WIG.
This is the hardest lace front I have EVER seen!!!!!!
Honestly volleyball is terrifying. Hahaha Anna kendrick... gurl. Did this movie launch literally every Hollywood career...? And why did that dude just non consensually kiss Kristen Stewart only never to be seen again...? 2008 was problematic.
HAHAHAHAHA “the blonde one who looks like he’s in pain.” Yup. Accurate.
DID THIS BITCH JUST MAKE HER ENTRANCE IN SCIENCE CLASS AND STOP IN BEYONCÉ WIND??!?!!?! Fuck. This shit is stupid.
I’m not even gonna talk about how there’s a convenient fan blowing and literally everyone in the scene is wearing fall/ winter clothing..... cuz this bitch just took a slow motion pause in Beyoncé wind!!!!
So. Spoiler alert: the science teacher isn’t Tony Shaloub.... also it’s canon that kristen Stewart smells bad...? What is even happening??!!
DID HE REALLY TRY TO CHANGE CLASSES CUZ HE HAD TO SIT NEXT TO SOMEONE??!?! I mean. Relatable but like kindof extreme.
Some of these scenes are unnecessary! Why did we cut to this restaurant for no reason?! And that ketchup bottle was empty. WHY IS SHE “PLANNING” TO CONFRONT HIM??! Nothing even happened!!!
“And the next day... another no show...” BITCH WHY DO YOU CARE??!?!?!
Why is there so much talk about rain......? This whole scene has all this rain subtext like science class is some sexy chess match... prophase. Anaphase. Rain. Cool. Move the fuck on. I’m still waiting for a plot to develop......
DRAMATIC VAN!!!!!!!!! and runaway.
ALL OF THESE HAIRCUTS.... I can’t handle 2008. WHAT WERE WE THINKING??!?!
And now he’s just gonna lie to her to make her think she’s crazy. Cool. That’s fine. Totally normal. Not at all predatory and upsetting. This whole conversation is a problem for me.
This dude is confidently wearing cargo pants and asking Bella to prom... 2008 was a different beast.... and is it me or is everyone wearing ALOT of makeup..?
What even is in Jacksonville..? That’s the real question.
Fan theory: this is a prequel to “pitch perfect” Anna kendrick’s character goes to college and discovers her love of acapela singing.
“Your mood swings are giving me whiplash” gurl. You’ve spoken literally three times........
Can someone explain to me why this entire movie is shot in close up...? Like I’ll half forgive the blue filter on the entire thing but gurl. Pull that camera back...
Waaaaaait. How is it summer suddenly..? This shit is all over the shop.
HAHAHAHA Anna Kendrick in this miss piggy prom situation!! Gurl. These evening gloves tho!!!!!
SO WAIT. Edward is gonna save Bella by driving badly??! Cool. That’s fine. Dramatic Sedan moment... ALSO. this waitress is in ALOT of look. Her hair is massive.
Umm so. Maybe never get into car with Edward Cullen...? He’s just a really shitty driver.
DRAMATIC GOOGLING!!!
Anyone: “how old are you?”
Me: “17”
Anyone:”how long have you been 17?”
Me: “mind your fucking business”
Me: “17”
Anyone:”how long have you been 17?”
Me: “mind your fucking business”
OOP AND HERE WE GO. SPARKLE TIME. this is when I tapped out originally I remember hoping “oh he’s Gonna look like a demon! That’s a fun take!” Then nope. Stupid. This whole thing is just a fucking mess.
Yanno what. Yes. More serious conversations do need to be had in trees.
Hahahahaha I love how this origin talk went from dry to raining and both of their hair bounced back like nothing happened! Fuck continuity we’re just gonna use both takes because they cost money to make.
Wow. It just dawned on me that I’m team Edward...is that still a thing? Can I still register? Are we still having meetings or does anyone have the zoom call password?
Ugh. I can’t respect a vampire who chooses to go to high school....of all things to do with immortality THIS is the thing you chose??! Fuck that.
This “love story” is soooo dumb. And a lot of it is taking place in trees. Of all places trees..? I mean cool but why?
I will say I’m super into all of Bella’s Henley shirts.... I’m fully opposed to her flare jeans. But I’ve always been vehemently against flared pants.
Why do I feel like Bella’s mom has a “casual” cocaine habit...? And is her stepdad a minor league baseball guy..? Was that ever discussed? Did I miss something??!
Soooooo yeah. This whole relationship is toxic. But so are all of Bella’s relationships with men apparently. Also as a note I only like baseball when the X-men play it. ALSO I didn’t realize “supermassive black holes” was this old. Jeeze I have been 17 for too long.
Bad vampires brought to you by urban outfitters circa 2008.
OH NOES THE WIND!!! HER DOWNFALL IS IMMINENT!!! ooor is it...?
Hahahahaha the way they just changed drivers while the car is still in motion! Stupid. Totally believable definitely tracks.
