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i had my first heartbreak when i was 9. my friend told the guy that i had a crush on that i like him and he looked at me in disgust. 3 years later, another guy that i liked threw harsh words at me and unfriended me on facebook. years later, another guy blocked me on every +
+ social medias that he had without confirming his feelings to me. i was dumb enough to believe that he liked me back just because he spared a few glance on me lol. and a year after that, i had a crush on my friend and we had a lil argument and he called me petty +
+ which led me to another heartbreak and later i blocked him because it has gotten toxic. a few months after that, i moved on with somebody else that i found cute. confessed my feelings, the guy seemed to like me too, everything was going fine +
+ and yeah.. it didn& #39;t last long. he later blocked me too because he was annoyed of what people were saying about me and him. (: +
+ skipped to a few months, i became friends again with my old friend and we talked to each other almost everyday. i happened to like him again and he didn& #39;t say a thing. he gave me confusing signals which i never understood. we stopped talking again and i was left alone. +
+ not longer after that, oomf told me that he already had a gf by the time we talked to e/o. he hid it from every1. i hate how the old me never gave up on the stupid crush that she had. also, the way i let myself being disrespected tons of times???? girl, you were an idiot.
i& #39;m saying all these things not because i was trying to gain sympathy but i was just looking back at the time where everything in my life was indeed a chaos. it& #39;s really crazy how could i put myself in situations like that. chasing after someone who didn& #39;t even worth a second.
i was too young. too naïve to know about love. if i could turn back time, i won& #39;t waste any of them crushing on someone. i should& #39;ve spend my time more with my friends. i should& #39;ve not spare a single second stressing about temporary love. i should& #39;ve smile and laugh more.
i& #39;m still struggling to love myself, to take care of myself. it seems stupid on how i used to chase other people to love me just because i can& #39;t do it on my own. now i have learnt that the only person that can do it is me.
how are we supposed to love someone else when we don& #39;t even love ourselves? why do we expect love from others when we don& #39;t even like being ourselves?
if someone happened to read this thread, i hope all of us can start appreciating our own existence. start accepting the way you already are. improve and inspire yourself to do better. i know we can do this together! 
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