Today I am 34. I compare myself to what my dad was doing when he was 34. I was 4 years old and my parents were in the middle of a major financial set back. My older siblings were in high school and my younger sister was not quite 2.

I'm months away from having a PhD

I say that as a point of reflection, not as some kind of silly vain boast. There are plenty of people with PhDs and I will be a mediocre one amongst them. Its an accomplishment but it's a continuation of my investment into myself.

My dad, at my age, was already investing himself into 4 kids - two of them step children (though none of us were ever made to feel different about one another; dad was just dad.) I think about how both my parents balanced the stresses of their lives and I compare it to mine.

I spend my days reading and thinking. Sometimes I write stuff down. Other times I tell people about what I've read or help guide them through their own experience with reading it. The stresses I have are a consequence of how much free time I have, not its absence.

I often wonder if all that free time is wasted on someone like me. Or, perhaps more accurately, someone else would spend it more wisely. But I mostly think about how different my life has been compared to just my parents to say nothing of their parents before them.

Getting older after 25 is basically just a good opportunity to reflect on what your life currently has and what else it could have been. A lot of people use it as a way to be nostalgic or to be jealous. I try to avoid those. Instead, I try to be a bit more introspective.

I have gained a lot of things my parents never had. I have developed a life far different from either of theirs, even at 34. But that has other costs. Its an open question on whether I will live long enough to see my children muse as I am musing. Things gained are others lost.

Most of all, even at a time when the world is in chaos and dread looms wherever one wants it to loom, I'm grateful that I have both of my parents still with me. I have a wife that puts up with me. I have friends who endure me. Birthdays are good chances to reflect and be thankful