In August 2019 I tested positive for pregnancy during an appointment to get an IUD. The nurse practitioner told me what my options were, including those if I wanted to have an abortion. I was sent for blood tests and given prenatal vitamins.

That weekend I took pregnancy test after pregnancy test, but they all came out negative. I was told that could be expected, as it was very early in the pregnancy.

When my blood tests came back negative after a week of prenatal vitamins, of discussions with my partner about what we were going to do, after going to a family wedding and not being able to share that I was pregnant yet... I was devastated.

The nurse practitioner, the doctors, didn't know if I had had a miscarriage or if I had ever been pregnant in the first place. That didn't make the loss hurt any less. I didn't menstruate for three months afterwards. I saw signs of a pregnancy that did not exist in my body.

I went to therapy and changed jobs after being gaslit by a former boss. I fought with my doctor to send me for tests, that I wanted to know if I had endometriosis or PCOS or if I was fertile at all. I tried to get in with gynaecologist directly but needed a Dr.'s referral.

If it weren't for that nurse practitioner, I wouldn't have known in the first place that my body was showing potential signs of endometriosis or PCOS. When I went back to her clinic in March to finally get that IUD, she was so gentle with me.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I'd called Clinic 554 in a panic after the at home tests I'd taken were negative. I'd asked if there was a chance they'd encountered anything like my situation before. The receptionist listened and was so kind.

Clinic 554 was willing to bring me in for an ultrasound and help me in every way they could. Before I even had the chance to take them up on their kind offer, the negative blood test results came back and there was no longer a need. But that kindness is one I will never forget.

I will always fight for reproductive rights. My pregnancy loss only reaffirmed to me just how important having the right to choose and being able to access reproductive healthcare in this province is. I only just convinced my doctor to send me for testing for endometriosis.

For the LGBTQIA2S+ former patients of Clinic 554 this is an immeasurable loss. For those who were able to receive abortions and reproductive care at Clinic 554 this is an immeasurable loss. It's one felt deeply in this community.

I should add that the clinic where I was getting my IUD and tested positive for pregnancy was the Downtown Community Health Center.