I am once again pulling a long day at the office, let’s start another choose your own adventure

Due to Circumstances you’ve recently transferred from your university to Garreg Mach Academy. You don’t know anybody. It sucks. Everybody else has known one another for years and has their own friends and here you are, a friendless loser, because university is cliquey now.

You’re lamenting being a friendless loser with no friends when you see it: a big ass bulletin board. There’s nowhere quite like a bulletin board to make friends! You approach. The nameless students who were looking disperse so they don’t catch your loser disease.

It’s just you and the bulletin board now. That’s okay, you can befriend the bulletin board. Now that you’re closer you get a better look.

Wow! A lot of sports teams are looking for new members. Can you play sports? Who knows! But it might be a good way to cure your loseritis!

Four fliers catch your eye, but you can only choose one. What do you choose?

The teamwork. The squeaky floors. The basketballs. In the end you decide to go to basketball tryouts. You truly feel that, due to a series of increasingly unlikely coincidences, you’ll have the most fun and make the most friends. And wow, they’re about to start! Better go!

Your basketball shorts swish pleasantly around your legs. You never take them off. They’re incredibly flattering. And these sneakers? Perfection.

You rush to the school’s gymnasium and line up for tryouts. Everyone seems to know each other.

man, this really IS awkward. you thought you could be cool and impressive by flexing your biceps while shuffling along with LMFAO's hit single Party Rock, but now everybody's turned away from you. oops.

everyone except one mysterious gentleman smirking at you from the bleachers.

The crowd moves further away. The stranger in the bleachers bursts into laughter. Friends: 0.5..?

The stranger stands and approaches. Upon closer inspection he has dark slicked back hair, a chin strap, and an easy smile.

"Tell me," he says, "What's your name?"

“It’s... [not Y/N],” you say. You think perhaps that could also be shortened to [NYN], for the sake of character limits.

“Well, [NYN],” he says, “I’m Claude. I like your moves.”

He winks. “Me too, my friend,” he says. Your stomach flutters. Friend!

You’re about to delve deeper into this thing called “”friendship”” when a loud whistle echoes in the gymnasium.

“Everybody, line up!” someone shouts. Claude laughs and leaves.

You turn around and find Claude has joined three other young adults: a short woman with light brown hair wearing a red shirt and a whistle, a tall blonde man wearing a blue shirt, a medium height person with lavender hair wearing a gray shirt, and Claude, who’s wearing yellow.

“It’s time for tryouts,” the woman with the brown hair shouts. You get the impression she’s strict. “Show me what you can do.”

“Yes! Do your best!” the blonde man says. You get the impression he’s a golden retriever.

“Hm,” the purple haired person says. You get no impression.

Claude winks. At everybody. You get the impression he’s good with people.

How do you impress them?

Claude cheers. The blonde claps politely. The brunette stares, expressionless. The one with the purple hair seems to be sizing you up.

Claude cheers louder. He elbows the blonde next to him. He also cheers. Two down, two to go.

The brunette girl looks you up and down. "What's your name?"

"Oh, that's [NYN]," Claude says. He winks at you. He knows that's not your name.

“Well, welcome [NYN],” she says, “I am Edelgard von Hresvelg. Pardon my asking, but why exactly did you do a cartwheel for a basketball tryout?”

Edelgard's eyebrows shoot up. Her faces goes as red as her jersey. She clears her throat and turns around.

"Oh!" Claude hops in place and pulls the blonde guy forward. "Do Dimitri next!"

Dimitri stares at your raised hand. Claude lifts his hand for him and slaps your hands together. Dimitri jumps in surprise.

“It is lovely to meet you,” Dimitri says. You think he means it.

Then Dimitri and Claude are violently separated by the one with purple hair.

“Oh geez,” Dimitri also says. But that doesn’t matter, because the one with the purple hair is very up in your business.

“Hello, [NYN],” they say, “The name’s Yuri. I like your moves.”

Yuri smirks and does a standing backflip, no warmup or psyching up necessary. Claude whoops. Dimitri claps politely. Edelgard side eyes all of you.

“What do you think?” Yuri asks with a bow.

Standing? A backflip??? You need momentum for that. You just kind of hop in place. It’s embarrassing. Dimitri claps politely.

“Don’t worry too much,” Yuri says, “I’m a professional.”

You don’t think that’s true.

You realize these people, who all seem to be team captains, are giving you their undivided attention while ignoring the unnamed and faceless masses.

You smoothly slide into stand among them and lean in.

"Why are you paying so much attention to me?" you ask.

Each of them opens their mouths and says something at the exact same time. You have no idea what anybody said.

Yuri’s eyebrows raise and his mouth forms a perfect rehearsed o!

“I was just saying,” he says, getting up into your personal space and moving as smooth as a smooth guy, “There’s something special about you. Something pulling me in.”

They get close. Real close. Is it hot in here or is it just them? You're scared to ask another question.

They whisper in your ear, "It's like you're pulling me in your orbit."

Yuri chuckles and throws an arm over your shoulder. It's WAY too hot in here.

"Listen," Yuri says, "Join the Ashen Wolves. We're the underdogs here. Someone with your skill would even the playing field."

Edelgard clears her throat. "I believe [NYN] is capable of making their own decisions," she says.

Are you?

Edelgard sighs. Her first defeat of the season.

“Congratulations!” Dimitri congratulates.

“Looks like we’re rivals now,” Claude rival establishes.

“Lovely,” Yuri says. He turns around and steers you away. “You’ve made the right choice, my friend.”

This is just getting ridiculous, but damn does Yuri find it funny.

Yuri steers you into a locker room. The white tiles are slick under your shoes, the lighting isn't doing anyone any favors, and it smells like B.O. Sports! You round a corner and see an unlikely group.

"And here's the team," Yuri says. They each turn and look at you in different states of attention.

"That's Constance," he points to a pale woman with blonde hair underlayed with purple. She stands. He continues before she can speak.

"That's Balthus," he points to a large man with a mullet. Fuck, he's big. He grins. How old is he?

"And that's Hapi," he points to a bored looking woman with red hair. She doesn't say anything.

"Yes," Yuri says, "What they said."

"It's lovely to meet you, [NYN]," Constance says. She curtsies. "I am part of this team to restore glory to House Nuvelle, a basketball team of glory that was tragically annihilated in a tragic basketball accident. So tragic."

"Yes, darling, you did," Constance confirms, "That's exactly why I must give you my full itemized backstory, complete with this timeline!"

Constance pulls out a scroll and lets it drop to the ground. It keeps rolling. And rolling. And rolling. The writing is tiny.

“Yes!” she declares, “You understand the importance of restoring House Nuvelle! You will be an excellent ally in my climb to —“

Hapi covers Constance’s mouth with her hand.

Hapi stares at you.

“...what?”

Hapi continues to stare at you.

[TRAIT ACQUIRED: SHAMELESS FLIRT]

Hapi stares. And stares. And stares. She takes her hand off Constance’s mouth.

“Keep going,” she says to Constance.

[TRAIT ADJUSTED: FLIRT WITH SOME SHAME)

Constance starts talking about her family or whatever.

(My bad, this thread will update w ongoing results in the morning)