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what is like living with ocd! a thread
what is like living with ocd! a thread
in this thread i& #39;ll talk about how it really is living with this mental illness. Of course i& #39;ll talk about my OWN experience, since all the people who have or had ocd don& #39;t live it in the same way! There are different types of ocd and it can be more severe or less.
so, let& #39;s begin with my story.
It all began when i was little basically. Of course i didn& #39;t know back then that there was something wrong in me and i thought it was just normal (?) and that maybe all the people at some point had this but at the same time i could really
It all began when i was little basically. Of course i didn& #39;t know back then that there was something wrong in me and i thought it was just normal (?) and that maybe all the people at some point had this but at the same time i could really
feel the sense of oppression and that i was in some way really really uncomfortable but yk i was young and i didn& #39;t know exactly what was going on.
I washed my hands repeatedly and obsessively till they were all chapped. I& #39;m religious and i started having all these nasty
I washed my hands repeatedly and obsessively till they were all chapped. I& #39;m religious and i started having all these nasty
intrusive thoughts about it. In multiple occasions I said like idek how many prayers because if i didn& #39;t do in that way i couldn& #39;t even go to bed and i don& #39;t really remember my feelings because i was like 11/12 and now im 19 but it felt like if i didn& #39;t say all those prayers mayb
things won& #39;t happen as i asked to to God or things would go bad.
I was anxious to study because for example if i didn& #39;t want to read things out loud and just read in silence, my mind would say to me things like "no if u don& #39;t read it out loud bad things will happen etc."
I was anxious to study because for example if i didn& #39;t want to read things out loud and just read in silence, my mind would say to me things like "no if u don& #39;t read it out loud bad things will happen etc."
i remember very vividly once where i wanted to study quickly and you know the titles on top of a paragraph? i didn& #39;t want to read them just to go more quick and i was obliged by my mind to do it and i just wanna cry thinking at how i felt back then. It happened all the times.
I was sacred of doing certain things because it could ruin something i cared about in my life like "if u do x well your friendship with x will end/you won& #39;t pass this year/ you& #39;ll be ugly forever" etc.
In 2018 i won a m&g with shawn mendes that was in 2019 and for a whole fucking year i had these thoughts like "if u think about him you will not meet him/if u post this etc etc". You don& #39;t know how many times i was scared of losing my best friend because "if u think about
her when you listen to music you& #39;ll lose her/if u call best friend other people she& #39;ll leave you".
These are just like the 2% of thoughts that i had/have daily btw because i can& #39;t remember everything since they were so many and it& #39;s hard for me.
These are just like the 2% of thoughts that i had/have daily btw because i can& #39;t remember everything since they were so many and it& #39;s hard for me.
When i started going into therapy for anxiety and depression i started taking some pills and i saw like a 10% decrease in my ocd but obviously those weren& #39;t pills exactly for ocd and i never talked to my therapist about ocd because i thought he would make fun of me or sumn.
Lately it& #39;s back stronger than ever and i feel mentally and physically exhausted from all of these thoughts.
Sometimes i can& #39;t tweet things i want because "if u tweet this x thing will happen". I can& #39;t post on ig or on stories for the same reason. I can& #39;t watch certain things,
Sometimes i can& #39;t tweet things i want because "if u tweet this x thing will happen". I can& #39;t post on ig or on stories for the same reason. I can& #39;t watch certain things,
if i want to eat something i can& #39;t, it affects even my personal hygiene like brushing teeths or stuff, it affects my actions in public, it affects what i eat or not it affects my religion it AFFECTS my fucking life in every single thing. Even writing this thread you don& #39;t
know how hard it is for me since idk how many times i had those thoughts.
I have have compulsions because every time i have a thought i shake my head like to make it go away (?)
I have have compulsions because every time i have a thought i shake my head like to make it go away (?)
I& #39;m scared every day that with what i think or what i do something bad will happen to the people i love, that something bad will happen or that some people will do things because of me (?) like that i& #39;m f guilt of everything.
When something that triggers me happens, even if it& #39;s a small thing and i know that it& #39;s false or not true, my mind makes me think about it for all the day and i can& #39;t do other things and it leads me to depression, since i also suffer from that
It also make me upset or sad or makes me mad about things that go against my morality (?). If for example x person does a thing that tbh i know its not that big of a deal, like i know that im don& #39;t have to be upset for that like my mind obliges me to be sad.
like it twistes everything and makes me feel anxious and makes me overthink everything.
Lately it& #39;s just so hard to live for me because it& #39;s like living with another f person in my mind but the worst is that that person decides for me its not me.
Lately it& #39;s just so hard to live for me because it& #39;s like living with another f person in my mind but the worst is that that person decides for me its not me.
It makes me feel obsessed with some kind of things, it makes me check things over and over and over analyze them.
It makes me feel stuck on them for days and weeks.
It makes me feel stuck on them for days and weeks.
Idk if i said everything but really i could go on for days talking about this.
As i said before this is just my OWN story i know there are some people that really also harm themselves for ocd or that have worst dirty thoughts of mine but it& #39;s still ocd and
As i said before this is just my OWN story i know there are some people that really also harm themselves for ocd or that have worst dirty thoughts of mine but it& #39;s still ocd and
it makes me so sad how there& #39;s not that much of information or sensibilization about the whole mental illness.
Please stop saying that u have ocd if u don& #39;t for real like "omg im so ocd i just cleared my room". No please stop because it& #39;s not it and it literally erasures how we
Please stop saying that u have ocd if u don& #39;t for real like "omg im so ocd i just cleared my room". No please stop because it& #39;s not it and it literally erasures how we
we really feel unfortunately.
I hope this thread maybe helped someone feeling less alone or just show how it really is.
I honestly did it also because i needed to express how i felt and to give a "material" form to all of this big mess.
I hope this thread maybe helped someone feeling less alone or just show how it really is.
I honestly did it also because i needed to express how i felt and to give a "material" form to all of this big mess.
Don& #39;t forget that u are loved and valid and if u ever need help please my dms are always open and i& #39;m happy to help you. <3
I just want you to know that it was really hard for me to talk about all this and i talked like about the 2% of everything i went through so i hope u& #39;ll understand :(
