brooklyn 99 halloween quotes,a thread:
#BrooklynNineNine

Charles: Santiago I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: "Kind, sober and fully dressed" Good news everyone. We found the name of Santiago's sex tape

Amy: You know how I think Halloween is for jerks? Well, this Halloween, I was the jerk. I'm sorry about tonight.
Jake: "I'm sorry about tonight." We found the title for Santiago's follow up sex tape

Amy: People think if they put on a costume they can just get away with anything they want. Halloween is Christmas for jerks

J: Hey there captain.Just curious,do you happen to know what today is?H: Well,based on the fact that yesterday was the birthday of legendary Dutch floutist Franz Brüggen and a week ago was October 24th,I'd say today was- J: It's Halloween.Just say it's Halloween H: It's Halloween

Captain Holt: I know, but I've been planning it for a year. Last Halloween, after you won the bet, I went back to my office to do everyone's paperwork, but I did no paperwork. I started to plot my revenge. I began by creating a word cloud.

Jake: Attention, squad. Today is the most important day in the history of this precinct.For today is,Halloween.I thought we were going to say it together.
Captain Holt: I never agreed to that.

Amy: As I was saying, it's time for round four of the Halloween Heist-
*Jake runs in with air horns blaring*
Scully: If I don't make it, tell Gina I love her.

Jake: This year's Halloween Heist is a three-way tiebreaker to determine the champion of champions. We'll be playing for this: a plaque that reads, "The Ultimate Detective/Genius"

Jake: What's up, Nine-Nine? Jake Peralta here to tell you that tonight is the night for the-
Sergeant Jeffords: Halloween Heist. Amy already went over this.
Jake: What? Ames, what are you doing? I always announce the heist.
Charles: Yeah, Amy, what the hell are you doing?

Jake: Halloween muahahaha.Its heist time
Amy:Thought you could get a head start on heist prep? Good luck,im already dressed.Jake:Well, im also dressed, and I made breakfast. Wait, where are my eggs? Holt:In my belly. Now get a move on,it's heist time.Jake:I love Halloween

J:Some of you've asked me what got me through prison.Was it my family? Don't be stupid.Was it knowing that my friends would eventually get me out?Ofc not,I never believed in any of http://you.No ,the only thing that kept me sane was planning for the Halloween heist.

Jake: All right, but for real, though. Are we doing this?
Captain Holt: We're doing this.
Charles: Heist!
Jake: Heist!
Sergeant Jeffords: Heist!
Hitchcock: It's a Cinco de Mayo heist!
Jake: A Cinco de Mayo heist makes just as much sense as Halloween. Let's do it!

Terry: Man,I am so sick of Jake saying he is the only two-time Halloween heist winner.
Holt & Amy: I'm the only two-time Halloween heist winner.
Terry: I can't believe everyone says you're not helpful during the Halloween heist.Just because they all think your fingers are too big

Jake: Wait. I've got it. I know how to distract Terry. Captain, remember how you cancelled the last Halloween heist because there was that emergency gas line explosion and you said we had to "help out"? Holt: Yes, I also remember you refusing to believe the explosion was real

Jake: Welcome one and all to the first ever Cinco de Mayo Halloween Heist 6! We're still working on the title.
Charles: No need, I love it.
Jake: Thank you, Charles.

Jake: Happy Halloween. I see you all have your game faces on. Special shout-out to Amy who is clearly only wearing that pumpkin costume to conceal her heist equipment.
Amy: Nuh-uh. I was greeting kids at the Halloween party.
Rosa: Nobody believes you.

Doctor: Uh, I'm sorry. Who are all these people?
Jake: We're coworkers involved in an elaborate Halloween heist. Do you seriously not talk to your vet about us?

Charles: This is incredible. How'd you do it, Rosa?
Rosa: Well, back on Halloween, I knew Jake would make the first move, and I had to be ready.
Jake: You were hiding in the fog. It wasn't Holt that put that chair in my pathway.

Rosa: Anyway, then I grabbed the gems, jumped off the roof, and wrote my name in flames.
Holt: Wait, why did you keep delaying the heist? Couldn't you have just won at Halloween?
Rosa: Oh, I did. These are the real Halloween gems. I switched them out before Cheddar found them.

Jake: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Easter Valentine's Day Halloween heist!

end of thread <3 (this thread is the longest thread i've ever made so if it flops,ignore this,and also all the quotes are from theninenine)