a thread about pregnancy loss https://twitter.com/kpanyc/status/1311694585672929282

i’ve personally experienced an ectopic pregnancy and 2 early miscarriages. one at 6 weeks and one at 8. the part of this thread about having to go on about your day while actively miscarrying a pregnancy really hit home.

it’s such a crazy experience that’s hard to put into words. mainly because they tell you it’s “like a period” i guess to make you feel better? but it’s not and the fact you know it’s not makes it 1000x worse.

my ectopic pregnancy was the worst of the 3. i went to the doctor to confirm a pregnancy and ended up being checked in for an emergency surgery. my hcg levels were extremely high but my uterus was empty.

the pregnancy was in my tube and based on how wide my tube was and the pain i was feeling i was told my tube could burst within the next day or 2 if i opted to try using medicine to expel the pregnancy.

i had an outpatient surgery and was on bed rest for a week and half. the physical pain sucked but the emotional pain was worse. it really is such an incredibly isolating feeling. no one ever really talk about pregnancy loss or even fertility issues.

you’re just told if you have sex you might have a baby. so when it happens your first thought is to always blame yourself. no matter what the doctor says. you can’t help if.

then when it happens repeatedly it becomes even harder to deal with. after i lost my 3rd pregnancy i remember getting the call at work and having a full meltdown in the bathroom because no one could tell me what was wrong with me.

it had to be SOMETHING wrong with me. i kept losing pregnancies. 2 years later i was diagnosed to PCOS. which to me sounded more like “we don’t know what’s going on but here’s a label”.

it’s been 8 years since my first pregnancy and 6 years since my last failed pregnancy. 4 years ago we decided to try going the medical intervention route but after 2 failed attempts at IUI and being told to maybe try ivf we decided to relax.

if it happens, cool. if it doesn’t, we still have 3 amazing kids to drive us crazy for the rest of our lives.

i shared all this just because there’s been a lot of talk on the timeline ever since Chrissy Teigen shared her loss. I admire her for it. it was a very vulnerable moment to share with the world but also very relatable.