/srs
hey! apparently a lot of you guys didnt like my "unpopular opinions". eeeeespecially my feelings towards rusprus. which was to be expected! please read replies about why i dont like it! it's not what you think.

i was considering closing off this thread with "none of your business, i shouldn't have to defend an opinion", but i already know a lot of you have the wrong idea, so get ready for some painful over explaining!
for the rest of this thread,
[tw for nsfw content involving a minor]

i started roleplaying prussia when i was very young, 9 years old to be exact (my 8 year anniversary in the fandom is in a few weeks!), and somehow, i wound up being party to nsfw roleplays, propositioned mostly by [tw for incestuous ships] germany and russia roleplayers

they or i would make a post saying "i want to rp", and i or they would respond to said post with interest. at no point would i ever agree to the roleplay turning sexual, but i didnt really understand that i could politely decline. keep in mind, i'm 9 or 10.

so by the time i was 11, i "figured out" that incestuous ships were wrong (after germanc*st had been my otp for at least a few months), but now rusprus took its spot as my otp.

what i was doing, looking back, was retroactively normalizing my inability to say "no" by preemptively saying "yes". as i realized this was happening, i over corrected rather aggressively. this caused anxiety whenever i interacted with russia and germany rpers as i got older.

paired with my really strong (i now realize is kinship) connection with prussia, and i absolutely shut down. i still am very anxious around russia mains/kinnies, but i promise i'm trying to get over it. i dont think i'll ever like rusprus again, but that's the true story.

i dont know why, but rusprus is one of the only ships that when i say that i dont like it, people genuinely get upset with me. i promise it isn't personal to anyone i associate with nowadays, and if YOU can enjoy rusprus, that's great! but it was a trigger for me for awhile, so +

+ just be patient with me, okay? i promise i'm working on it.

[ END OF THREAD ]