I'm gonna make this very clear for all of you.

1. Lesbianism is not "popular." It is not a trend. It is not "fashion" (though many of us are very fucking fashionable, stay mad). It is a deliberately distinct term used to describe women who are attracted to women.

2. Lesbianism has nothing to do with men. It's not about shortage, dissatisfaction, trash tendencies, or anything else plaguing people attracted to men. To center men in lesbianism is misogynistic, heterosexist, and aggressively ignorant.

LESBIANS LOVE WOMEN. Learn from us.

3. Bisexuality is not "popular." It is also not lesbianism. Bisexual ppl are attracted to people of two or more genders. This means bisexual ppl may date and/or have sex with men, women, genderqueer people, etc. Not necessarily at the same time, but sure can. It's fun over here.

4. Lesbian+bisexual are identities. Not experiments. Lesbianism is not for "trying" or "turning into." A woman is attracted to women or people of multiple genders or not. It may be orientation. It may be preference. It is not your business unless you are that woman.

5. You may think more people openly identify as lesbian or bisexual now. That's partly because you don't go here. It is very important to understand that it is not your business. Some people are out. Some are not. Some choose not to talk about it, perform it, deny it, hide it.

6. You may describe what you *perceive* to be an increase in lesbians as a "trend," but it's not at all related to being "fashionable." It isn't b/c lesbianism or bisexuality are fashionable. It's partly b/c openness is *trending* upward because of changes in society.

We are now in safer environments, have greater access to information, have better support systems, live separate digital lives, and a number of other factors contribute to more women feeling comfortable with naming/describing/performing their sexualities.

This is quite different from the situation for GBT+ men, but that is not the topic for today.

7. It is good, healthy, beneficial, and normal for people to explore their own sexualities. There is curiosity and excitement. What might I like if I tried it? What if this way isn't the only way? What do I want from my relationship with this person?

What would I try if I wasn't conditioned to think it was wrong or was not an option for me? How can I give myself more opportunities to find pleasure? Asking these questions and being open to the answers can lead to exploration and play. Lesbian identity? Not necessarily.

This is not pretend. This is not deceit. This is a human experience. People going through this process are not decidedly lesbian or bisexual. They may feel the need to wear the label in order to be honest or give themselves a frame for the experience. Not fashion. Experience.

Now. Let's talk about social constructs. I am going to keep this very simple.

8. Gender is a social construct. People made it up. They decided that visible sexual organs are a basis upon which to derive a person's life path. This was in service to white men and white men only.

There is more that can be said about that, but I am keeping it simple for now.

9. Feminism is, in its simplest definition, the belief that people of all genders should have equal rights and opportunities.

Feminism is a movement, a way of thinking, and a guiding principle that started as a direct response to the inequalities created by *the social construct* we have come to know as gender. Feminism, then, is a response and challenge to a social construct. Not SoCiAl EnGiNeErInG.

To refer to feminism as "socially engineered" is as ridiculous as referring to wearing clothes in that way. Feminism has certainly helped to create an environment for people to explore sexuality. It has not, however, created lesbians any more than it created women.

In fact, look at sexual orientation/sexual preference/sexuality. Do you not think heterosexuality is a social construct? Lemme tell you. It is. Someone decided that there are two genders, they are opposite, and the opposites must be attracted to each other and procreate.

Why is it so easy for you to buy into the idea that you're supposed to be w/ someone of the "opposite sex" when science has proven sex is not binary and society sees every day that gender isn't either? Is it SoCiAl EnGiNeErInG?

10. Feminism is not synonymous with hatred of men. Most women do not hate men. Even the women who frequently complain about men. If we hated y'all, we would let y'all die. We hate the fucked up behavior that has become synonymous with your gender. See? Social construction.

We hate that you hate us. We hate when men harass us, send our nudes to other people, rape us, groom little girls, cum and go like it's over, stay friends with abusers, call us "females," assume we're lesbians because we won't date or fuck you. We hate that.

We hate being afraid. That's why we say we don't eat much, or we're busy, or we fell asleep, or we have to work instead of saying we don't wanna date you. So you don't kill us.

Feminism isn't hating men. It's about not having to fear or resent or be subordinate to y'all.

11. Men are not so important that their trash beliefs, characteristics, or behaviors lead women to deny themselves the pleasure of penile penetration if that is what we desire. (Get over yourself.) Some women, however, learn that there are women who are better at it than men.

12. Given 6 and 7 -- in addition to willingness+ability to develop healthy platonic relationships with expressions of love, affection, + affirmation -- women may be more open to love/sex/romance/eroticism w/ more people. With less gender restrictions, we are not stuck with y'all.

When you just offer an erect penis + there are people in our circles whose interests, belief systems, and sexual/romantic/erotic desires better match ours, whether you call it choice, preference, or orientation, when we are unrestricted and prioritize our own pleasure, easy call.

13. Rather than trying to pathologize women who don't want to be with you, look at your options.
a) Be a better CIS heterosexual man. Develop respect, love, and care for women.
b) Explore other (gender) options, maybe misogyny together
c) Respect women AND explore gender options

Threads like this are labor. If you learned something, if you're glad someone said it, gonna use it your work (w/ proper credit, do NOT fucking steal from me, yes I know it's public and YOU know you didn't write this), and you can afford+want to support: http://paypal.me/aliciawallace