CW: Abuse

The most horrible thing about extended emotional abuse is that they teach you to hurt yourself on their behalf, to be so primed to be in trouble that you expect the punishment at every turn. Even after they’re gone, you are left as this machine designed to hurt itself.

Even when you enter into safe and loving relationships, the instinct is there to expect the other shoe to drop, to be punished for something, to be put back in that place. It takes so long for that muscle to finally unclench and relax; it can make things hard during that time.

Our emotions ultimately are our responsibility, which is also complicated in the aftermath of abuse; when you are told what to feel and how to act, and punished for doing differently, taking responsibility for your feelings is foreign, because someone else always did that.

For some it might seem corny but just asking for reassurance that you’re not in trouble, asking the other person or people in that safe relationship to let you know that things are good... that’s okay to ask for; crutches exist for a reason, and emotions heal like broken bones.