pre-HRT libido: Hey! Hey you! I have something I need you to take care of RIGHT NOW! You won't feel better afterwards but you just gotta do it!

Libido now: So I would like to offer you the opportunity to enjoy yourself & relax afterwards. No pressure, just if you would like to!

My libido has changed in all kinds of unexpected ways over the past two years and since it comes up quite often when talking to people who aren't (yet) on HRT or are early on, I wanted to expand on my experiences a little bit.

This is about E based HRT, please tell me about T!!!

Much of my experience before I started HRT was that of having an urge that just needed to be satisfied. It just popped up out of nowhere or got triggered by a thought or visual & was demanding my attention. It was less about enjoying myself & more about "taking care of it".

A normal part of the routine was a sharp drop off right after I was done. The chore had been taken care of, any interest or arousal was gone & it left an uncomfortable, empty feeling in its wake. Discomfort, shame, sometimes even confusion was all I got out of it.

Another part of how my libido worked, was that it was very visual. I got turned on by seeing certain kinds of bodies, certain kinds of actions. Some kinds of mainstream, commercial porn worked pretty well for me for this purpose & I watched a lot of it.

This part changed quickly. While I still find people attractive & can get turned on by them, there is a very important prerequisite to this now, that didn't exist before. I need to experience emotional intimacy first. Any kind of physical interest is only an extension of that.

If I like you, trust you, am emotionally attracted to you & spend a lot of time with you, you will become beautiful & attractive to me, no matter your physical appearance. I will be attracted to your looks because they are *your* looks. You will be beautiful because I love you.

Seeing people I don't know or care for deeply naked just doesn't have any kind of effect on me anymore. I can recognize them as conventionally attractive or sexy, I understand what makes them so, but I am utterly disinterested in it all if the emotional component is missing.

The way I experience my libido as well as sex has also changed drastically. My libido has become more of a potential instead of an urge. My body lets me know that it would be interested in sex, but I have a choice whether I want to engage with it right away or wait a bit.

It can build up over hours & days & the horniness itself is a pleasant, fun feeling instead of something that needs to be handled. I can just enjoy it for what it is. It makes me feel good. I can chose to lean into it & it will grow and flourish if I want it to.

The best part, is that it isn't goal oriented like it used to be. Orgasms are actually far better than they used to be, but they are not necessary for me to enjoy myself & they don't end my horniness. They are an amazing element but neither necessary nor the end all be all.

I can have multiple in rapid succession or non at all & both experiences can be wonderful & fulfilling & satisfying. They build on each other, becoming stronger & more all-encompassing, powerful, yes earth shattering in ways I had never experienced before.

And the afterglow. Oh, the afterglow. It's one of my favorite changes. Even when I feel like I've had enough, I can just lean back, relax & enjoy the slow, soft, warm come down. I feel comfortable, satisfied & happy. I feel very emotional & sometimes cry happy tears of release.

This is not a "this will happen to everyone on E based HRT". These are just my experiences. I also don't have genital dysphoria nor any trauma related to sex that I am aware of, which helps a ton with all of it.

I'd love to hear your experiences, esp. if they differ from mine!