Gents

Things to avoid when you have a side chick

A Thread

This is for married, quarter-to-marry and planning to marry men that cannot imagine a life of being with just one woman. We know you are out there, and you love to have your side-chicks. There’s not much we can do about that, apart from criticize and curse and hiss in disgust.

And that rarely ever makes a difference. So, since you are not likely to change your ways, here are a few tips to help you do this wrong thing the ‘right’ way.

1. Whatever you do, DO NOT tell her that you could marry her if you weren’t already married. Whether you mean it or not. Cos she might start to get ideas and think there might be a potential future. Before you know it, she’s expecting you to leave your wife for her.

2. put her on a schedule so that she doesn’t expect to receive more time than she’s ‘entitled’ to. This helps you make ample time for your wife and it will teach side chick to be content with what she has. An added advantage is that she’ll start to look forward to those days.

3. Don’t bring her into circles where she might potentially meet your wife. Women can smell a rat from afar. So even if you think you’re ‘coding’ by not talking to her at an event or gathering, your wife might pick up on the looks you’re both giving each other.

Another angle to look at it from is that you may not be able to handle her mingling with other guys, especially if they are single. And your wife might notice your irritation if you’re the jealous type.

Women, like elephants, never forget. And they tend to be able to put two and two together if there are enough ‘coincidences’.

4. Do handle your marital business before you enter ‘side-chick time’. Remember, her own time is less than ‘wifey time’ (and rightfully so) so she won’t appreciate you further shortening her ration by having your family conversations when you should be spending time with her.

If you need to check in with your wife, do it before, not during side-chick time, unless there’s an emergency. In which case you’ll be going home anyway.

Note: Some side-chicks are actually able to deal with being present while you do family stuff. But most should be uncomfortable, because it’s a strong reminder of how wrong what they’re doing with you is.

5. Don’t mention or insinuate that she ought to understand/remember your married state. She doesn’t need a reminder. she can pretend that she means the world to you or that she’s the only girl in the world for you if that makes her happy.

6. Do remember her birthday and special occasions, but never prioritize her over your wife. don’t stop the world cos it’s her birthday. That privilege is and should be reserved for your wife. If you do ‘too much’, she starts to expect much more.

7. Do prepare your mind for the possibility that she’ll find a single guy and move on. Just as she’s a temporary thing in your life, ultimately so are you (probably even a place holder). You have to be ready for this cos it could come without warning.

8. Don’t hold on to her when she asks to be let go. For one, it’s just unfair, because you’re never going to be able to give her more than you already do. Besides, there are lots of other potential side-chicks out there (if you insist on keeping one).

9. Do limit the number of people (friends and family) you introduce her to. You’re bound to get a lot of criticism for cheating on your wife. And if you’re unlucky, someone might tell someone who might tell someone who might tell your wife.

10. Don’t expect her to perform wifely duties. Let her do them if she wants to. But you cannot demand them from her. She is not your wife, you don’t treat her like she is your wife, so you can’t expect her to take on the same responsibilities as your wife.

11. Do NOT have unprotected sex, not just because it’s the safe thing to do, but also because it’s the smart thing to do. You neither want to deal with an unplanned pregnancy nor an ‘ambush’ pregnancy. If you’re one of the prefer skin on skin action’ types, do that with your wife

12. Above all, do treat her with respect. Just cos she’s your side chick doesn’t mean she’s not a human being worthy of respect. We never know what circumstances lead people to do the things they do, even things they’ve sworn they would never do.

Her being with you might be for reasons that you would never understand, so never look down on her, never take her for granted, and never treat her badly. Best to leave well alone if you know you can’t accord her some respect.

END