TW doctors suicidal etc

1-
Tips for any doctors or future doctors reading this, since it doesn't seems like common sense: when a doctor send you in emergency a patient for atrocious pain and suicidal thoughts and that patient tell you she won't survive one more week like that

2- don't tell her that nothing you will give her works without trying, and tell her to just keep living and not "give enough space to the pain to ruin your life" just because YOU don't have a solution. Tell that patient you don't know yet, that's okay, but not that nothing will-

3- works. Especially when every single other doctors in that services have plentys of ideas they can bet will works. Because if you are that doctor, trust me, you'll kill people. Not in a physical but mental way.

TW SUICIDE
4- I spent one of the most awful nights Saturday and sunday, crying until the mess knocked me out. I planned everything. I knew what I needed to do to feel relieved. Because that doctor lacked empathy. And empathy shouldn't be optional in that field

5- today i feel better. (the bad doctor was a man and the three other amazing doctors were woman, just throwing this up here :) ). Because those three doctors understood straight away and tried. And now I know it'll pass and I know I'll survive.

6- He also judge how I coped with my PTSD, made me feel pathetic for needing my parents to calm me in the very place where I almost felt like I died too many time. Told me to get over myself. To just do better without having a clue how fucking strong I actually am

7- Every other doctors I've met in the last ten years told me how amazed they were by my strength. And it's one of the first time I got basically called weak and ridiculous with my feelings.

8- I'm shaking as I type all of that. Not asking for pity or anything. All I want is for doctors to understand that patients knows what they can and can't handle. Especially those who spent the last 10 years in hospitals more than anywhere else.

9- this thread is just a cry for help. A cry for all the med students and currents doctors. A cry to ask to listen. And to put your ego aside to tell us if you don't know. It's okay, we're not stupid, we'd rather wait for a specialist than think that you'll have to die in pain

10- This is also a lot of ranting and I'm sorry for my tl. Pretty sure no one read it anyway but I pray that it comes the way of at least one doctor or med students. I'm not a single case. It happens too much and it shouldn't. You choosed your job, we don't choose our pain

11- I'll go on therapy on Monday so I needed to put this out somewhere for my sake I'm sorry once again for spamming maybe. Don't give up. Don't listen when doctors says they can't help. Never stop looking for solutions because there ALWAYS is solutions. A L W A Y S. Take care