Since waking up, I’ve already seen 3 mutuals making jokes about Chrissy & Legend’s stillbirth. One said it isn’t normal to grieve so much when the baby wasn’t alive yet

I’ve had multiple miscarriages. I have NEVER stopped grieving. Going to make fun of me next?

So for those of you blessed to not be in Chrissy & Legend’s place, here’s what happens when you have a miscarriage or stillbirth:

- You aren’t entitled to bereavement time
- Folks suggests the pregnant person caused the event somehow
- Family & friends wont talk about it

I’ve been told my miscarriages are b/c I had an abortion, or b/c I’m pro-choices. That’s common. Chrissy is experiencing that right now.

If you’re disabled, you’re told the miscarriage or stillbirth is good actually b/c you shouldn’t be a parent & maybe should reconsider ever trying again.

Things I’ve been told after miscarriages:

- “It’s just a heavy period”
- “But it wasn’t a baby or anything”
- “Maybe this is God’s will”
- “They’re common, no one else is as dramatic as you are”
- “Whats the big deal?”
- “It’s inappropriate to talk about this”

So many people are telling Chrissy it’s inappropriate to be public about her grief but the thing is you’re also told it’s inappropriate to have the grief AT ALL. Men that grieve miscarriages are given sympathy though.

Should’ve put content warnings on this. Sorry. Really upset & didn’t think.

There is no normal response to a miscarriage or stillbirth but ANY response is judged, mocked, scrutinized. The only winning move is not to play. That’s why so many of us just never talk about it, silence is easier.

Approximately one in three pregnancies ends in a miscarriage & despite how common this is WE LITERALLY CANNOT TALK ABOUT IT.

So maybe, if you’re going to go make jokes about Chrissy or suggest there’s more important things to talk about, MAYBE consider MISCARRIAGE STIGMA IS REAL & WE SHOULD DISCUSS IT.

Oh hey let’s talk about how pro-life folks respond to miscarriages experiences by pro-choice people b/c that’s a special kind of hell

I’m pro-choice. Which means I’ve been told the following after miscarriages:

- “Bet you’re pro-life now”
- “God is punishing you”
- “God decided you didn’t deserve that baby b/c you support murdering other babies”
- “You said it’s a clump of cells so you can’t be sad about it”

Pro-life responses to miscarriages among pro-choice individuals are by far the most horrific things I’ve seen. And it’s so common.

There’s no proper response to a miscarriage or stillbirth. Being pro-choice means also accepting there’s no proper response to pregnancy altogether. Some will celebrate, some be indifferent, some mourn. That’s ok.

Pro-life monsters are right on schedule to attack pro-choice miscarriage survivors https://twitter.com/carolechols/status/1311706514240008192