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Subtember is over. I had 2 goals this month. The first one was a public goal of subscribing to everyone that I follow. I accomplished that, and even included new people I met too. The 2nd goal was a private goal of mine to finally get 15 subs and unlock a 2nd emote. I failed. https://twitter.com/realOddio/status/1300747640980803584">https://twitter.com/realOddio...
In 2 years of streaming (minus the month off), it might actually be my worst month. This stuff just gets draining. I& #39;m glad everyone I& #39;ve met on Twitch seems to skyrocket right away, but after a while it gets hard to watch.
2 years is a long time for me to be where I& #39;m at. It& #39;s not about numbers, it& #39;s about recognizing a plateau.
This is not a pity party and this is not a "woe is me" moment. This is just me being honest and candid. And if you don& #39;t know me by now, that& #39;s what I do.
Twitch starts to feel like a big popularity contest after a while. And lord knows I ain& #39;t never been the popular guy. In every facet of life I& #39;ve been overlooked. So the idea of having to put on this show and be a bundle of joy 24/7 just to keep people there...gets heavy.
And it& #39;s not good for my mental health at all.
Juggling Twitch, YouTube, music, job, attempts at career growth, COVID, a senior dog, depression, lack of self esteem, body dysmorphia, and finances...once again, gets heavy.
I& #39;m a human, and an artist. I feel. I& #39;m passionate. And for the billionth time, I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I& #39;m a bad actor anyway.
I& #39;m a bad actor anyway.
This isn& #39;t a job to me. It& #39;s not about numbers. From the jump I& #39;ve always said I just wanted to meet people that I can talk to about real life shit, video games, and music. To share joy, sorrow, and everything else. And have a safe place to do it.
Because I& #39;ve never had that.
Because I& #39;ve never had that.
I& #39;ve got a lot of thinking to do.
